I'm in such unbearable pain. I don't want to be alive anymore, it's too painful and the world is too cruel of a place for me.
I was just fired in a really harsh manner and was told the company would be better off without me. The company knows that my mom has terminal cancer and my mental health hasn't been great and they still chose to fire me anyways.
I'm suffering so much. And I don't think I can wait the 2 weeks for the SN to come.
I tried to jump in front of a train, I was on the subway tracks for 6 hours, willing myself to jump. It was a horrible cycle of impatiently waiting for the train to come so I can get it over with and when it does come, being too scared and frozen to jump. I'm also scared of heights, and it's the falling that scared me and wondering what if I don't die from immediate impact and I lose my leg instead.
I tried to induce a heart attack by potassium pills (I'm on a potassium sparing med), but even though I took over 70 and had the symptoms of hyperkalemia (muscles weakness, fatigue, vomitting, nausea, feeling ill, couldn't walk), it didn't work and I just felt worse and worse. I ended up going to the ER and didn't tell them about the overdose, they gave me IV and I felt better. Thankfully one of their two tests came back negative for hyperkalemia even though the first one was elevated, so no one knows that I tried to intentionally poison myself.
I'm too scared to take any more potassium pills because of how uncomfortable it is and there's no information about how long it takes to die and what dosage you need.
I was just fired in a really harsh manner and was told the company would be better off without me. The company knows that my mom has terminal cancer and my mental health hasn't been great and they still chose to fire me anyways.
I'm suffering so much. And I don't think I can wait the 2 weeks for the SN to come.
I tried to jump in front of a train, I was on the subway tracks for 6 hours, willing myself to jump. It was a horrible cycle of impatiently waiting for the train to come so I can get it over with and when it does come, being too scared and frozen to jump. I'm also scared of heights, and it's the falling that scared me and wondering what if I don't die from immediate impact and I lose my leg instead.
I tried to induce a heart attack by potassium pills (I'm on a potassium sparing med), but even though I took over 70 and had the symptoms of hyperkalemia (muscles weakness, fatigue, vomitting, nausea, feeling ill, couldn't walk), it didn't work and I just felt worse and worse. I ended up going to the ER and didn't tell them about the overdose, they gave me IV and I felt better. Thankfully one of their two tests came back negative for hyperkalemia even though the first one was elevated, so no one knows that I tried to intentionally poison myself.
I'm too scared to take any more potassium pills because of how uncomfortable it is and there's no information about how long it takes to die and what dosage you need.
