majority of the weird, creepy and shameful acts i do be it in private or public, they are a result of the sexual tension i feel whenever i seee a woman. and that's just all of these things weird, creepy and shameful and they result in embarassing situations or situations i regret. what's another adversity is, that while being around a lady i can't be myself, i can't be the NORMAL me and that fuckin' takes a major chunk of my life that i could live being myself away from me . i would love to be an asexual creature even my way of speaking is very much dependent on how the reader might feel if they read this i mean i am trying to work it out and make it such that my focus is more on my writing rather than what the reader feels about it. this whole thing that people are judging me everytime or i have to be COOL or something good everytime i am in a public space be it online or offline is something that very much affects how i live my life. i live it according to what others might think are the good things to do or what others might think deserves a praise this is shit i want to get out of this hole BUT I AM NOT ABLE TO. i fuckin wanna escape it to atleast see what's left of my life
i think i unknowingly spoke about to different problems but they are both somehow related sine both are a cause of my brain being crowded wiht these thoughts of " what might she/they think !? "
i think i unknowingly spoke about to different problems but they are both somehow related sine both are a cause of my brain being crowded wiht these thoughts of " what might she/they think !? "
