Dear ijustwishtodie, Myforevercharlie,not-tobe-the-answer and Suicidebydeath,
Thank you for caring enough to wonder where I am. It is honestly touching to know that someone cares.
I am going through a really rough few weeks where it feels like a battle between life and death. I have been on the site, bit to be honest haven't had the energy to write. Following a couple more overdoses over the past few weeks (did not reach out for medical support though) and a determination to stay alive for my children feels like an impossible dream. I even reached out to the community mental health team (therapy finished weeks ago) and agreed to be referred to the specialist trauma clinic (and apparently there is a wait of up to 2 years for this hospital)! And the mental health team are unwilling to offer more than another 8 therapy sessions (1 per month) unless I agree to work with their nurses and my GP (who let me down badly) - I refused as I am not going to lie and say that I will engage with other services when I wouldn't. A good friend of mine also died on Mother's day. Basically life has been crap. That feeling of utter isolation, rejection and loneliness really hit me after the last two overdoses. Yet my children need me and somehow I have to live on. Often I thought about trying to share how I felt on this forum and yet I feel like I depress other people when I talk about my feelings and that is the reason that even the NHS are unable to handle me. Hence I thought that I will just keep quiet.
But when I saw that someone here actually wondered where I was, I felt less alone. And Thank You for that.