Venting uselessness

[author]

I'm tired of what feels like an endless, useless struggle for some kind of happiness. It's always dangled in front of me, just out of my reach, before everything comes crashing down horribly.

I'm a useless kid, useless student, useless worker, useless artist - I've failed at everything, and I can't make enough money to survive outside this abusive household I'm trapped in. I'm a useless human.

I don't have much money left. I'm wondering if I should just use the rest of it to go somewhere beautiful and die... But, I can't leave my friends like that. I'd be a useless friend.

I'm useless no matter what I do, and I can't seem to escape this limbo of letting people down - even if I die, I'll be letting someone down.

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that it really is so awful when things just get worse. I think that having hope often just leads to more suffering, losing hope can be painful. That is why I am glad that I have none. I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are so tired of everything. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I empathize with your post more than I can put down in words, OP. I've been, and still am, in that same situation(s). I'm so sorry you're feeling the way you are. I wish I had advice or words of wisdom to share, but wanted to at least let you know you're not alone. I wish for you that things will get better in some way.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I'm really sorry you feel this way, I can relate a lot to what you wrote and it's so hard to deal with thoughts like this day in and day out. I'm a hypocrite since I often feel I'm useless as well, but we are our own worst critics. I don't think you're useless since you've tried hard, I'm sorry things haven't worked out though. And while we can feel we're useless to friends that's deciding how they feel and what they see our impact as. It's my hope anyways that I've made a positive impact on at least one person even. It doesn't change that I can't stand living but at least I know not all the time was worthless. I hope things can get better for you and your effort will finally reward you.

On an aside, do you ever listen to vocaloid? I can't help but think of a Kikuo song here.

 

[author]

I'm really sorry you feel this way, I can relate a lot to what you wrote and it's so hard to deal with thoughts like this day in and day out. I'm a hypocrite since I often feel I'm useless as well, but we are our own worst critics. I don't think you're useless since you've tried hard, I'm sorry things haven't worked out though. And while we can feel we're useless to friends that's deciding how they feel and what they see our impact as. It's my hope anyways that I've made a positive impact on at least one person even. It doesn't change that I can't stand living but at least I know not all the time was worthless. I hope things can get better for you and your effort will finally reward you.

On an aside, do you ever listen to vocaloid? I can't help but think of a Kikuo song here.

Thank you. I appreciate it. I do listen to Vocaloid and I know the exact song you're thinking of - it's "You're A Useless Child" right? I like the slowed version.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Hell, I don't even see it dangled it front of me. I have no idea where this elusive happiness is for me, or even if it ever existed at all. As a matter of fact, because of circumstances WAAAAAAY out of my control, and where in life I am now, if there was ever a happiness for me, it has long since evaporated into some oblivion somewhere.

 

[CommitSudoku]

Thank you. I appreciate it. I do listen to Vocaloid and I know the exact song you're thinking of - it's "You're A Useless Child" right? I like the slowed version.

Yes, that song is the exact one. You've got good taste in music.