Venting useless

[slitwristsbleedcold]

not once i have ever got shown some love, or warmth from my family

every Christmas, or holiday was absolutely miserable, i never had, and i swear, on my life

i never had a peaceful, and just neutral dinner, with my parents or family, without them making judgmental comments about my life choices, issues or disorders

especially on food

i understand fucking around, trying to lighten everything up, but sometimes it's just not the case, right? like the fact for 19 years straight you always made me feel like shit?

people think I don't try to eat normally, i swear i do, but i just can't, I'm so fed up with this all

I don't think i ever heard a love you from my parents, why would you put your child through something like this, if you don't even care about them? I'm so tired, i wish I had someone that will possibly make me feel better, or just, care about me, be the first choice for someone

 

[ManOfTheYear]

You will come to find that you might prefer the absences of certain family members if not all. After awhile the pain of what they did will go away and all that will be left is more time for you things, more money, and mental peace you wouldnt have had just by having a family at all in the first place. Trust me, grieve as you need at the loss. There is nothing wrong with that, and you are valid in the pain you feel. But TRUST ME, you can always find better people to fill your life with.