Venting Useless venting...

[nzdarkshark]

I feel so hopeless I feel sick.
I feel so heavy - like no matter if I eat my body always feels weak.
I hate looking at my own reflection - so I avoid it at all costs. I hate it so much.
I'm so tired of life - so tired if having to wake up every day and live. So tired of the pain, so tired of lying to cover the fact I'm done with life.

I'm so tired of a 'friend' who only hangs out with me because she's bored. She has no emotional filter and says things that just make me upset. But I'm too tired to do anything about it.

I don't want to lie anymore. I want to be up front with my plans but I can't. I want to enjoy this last summer (summer in nz is december>feburary for those who don't know) before I leave without having to worry about saying too much.
But I can't enjoy anything anymore. Things are mere distractions from the truth that I feel utterly worthless, useless and helpless.

Everything I love(d) is leaving me or I've realised it's tainted with assholes.
I wish I could ditch my exams. School means nothing to be anymore.

 

[CJM]

Hopefully the weather here in Welly stays this good. I can't stand it when it's miserable.

 

[nzdarkshark]

Hopefully the weather here in Welly stays this good. I can't stand it when it's miserable.

I hope it stays nice for you. Weather is iffy down here but honestly I barely go outside unless I have to so half the time I only know it's raining or such because I can hear it on the roof...

 

[Schopenhauer]

I feel tired like this too. I gave up for good by the end of 2017, but it took me a few months to be brave enough to take positive action. Going through the motions of work, eating, exercising.... I don't know how I withstood that for so many months.

It's summer here in my country too. I hate it. The heat makes me sick.