used to making bad impulsive decisions

[uselessflesh]

my ctbing probably will be an impulse decision knowing me, and thankfully the last of them. i'm tired of making mistakes and being conscious to bear what happens next

i have no reason to want to live so i don't know why i'm against the idea of ctb right now, i'm not going to feel any better in a week or even a month; in fact things might just get worse, so why do i keep holding on

survival instinct is like a clingy codependent partner that wants you to stay when you so badly want to detach and let it leave you for dead

 

[foreverlanguish]

OMGG I totally relate to this! I too am tired of making the same stupid mistakes and having my SI try to sink its teeth into me, making sure I survive without my wanting to. Anyways I hope your CTB goes well if you choose to do it.