WilliamKline

WilliamKline

Flâneur
Sep 16, 2019
135
I've tried to be non-comparative. To try and be content with my situation in spite of seeing my peers doing so much better in terms of health, money, jobs, relationships, whatnot. I've tried to stop comparing as it made me feel unhappy, because I always ended up the in-coparison loser.

Have you ever considered that (almost) every person compares continuously and that when comparing themselves to us (or me at least) they've ended up on the good side of the equation? Look how much self-content we've delivered to others. That's gotta be worth something?
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Essence, Feelingsruiner, Kassender and 1 other person
MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
I've tried to be non-comparative. To try and be content with my situation despite seeing my peers doing so much better in terms of health, money, jobs, relationships, whatnot. I've tried to stop comparing as it made me feel unhappy, because I always ended up the in-coparison loser.

Have you ever considered that (almost) every person compares continuously and that when comparing themselves to us (or me at least) they've ended up on the good side of the equation? Look how much self-content we've delivered to others! That's gotta be worth something?
thats an interesting theory- do you mean in essence that people will be so 'glad'/ 'greatful' about how much better their lives are that they don't want to ctb? Just checking I am understanding your thoughts. I'm sorry for your own woes. I think I am older than yourself but I struggle with everyone else I know having achieved so much more than I.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Essence and WilliamKline
WilliamKline

WilliamKline

Flâneur
Sep 16, 2019
135
thats an interesting theory- do you mean in essence that people will be so 'glad'/ 'greatful' about how much better their lives are that they don't want to ctb? Just checking I am understanding your thoughts. I'm sorry for your own woes. I think I am older than yourself but I struggle with everyone else I know having achieved so much more than I.

You are catching my drift :) Well I think wanting to CTB is just an outcome of having a shitty life. The shitty life in itself would be enough for others comparing themselves to us to feel a bit better about their own lives. I guess I'm in a critical period of my life, being 36, have decided not to try and have kids but failing in life on many levels
 
  • Like
Reactions: Essence and MeltingHeart
Astral316

Astral316

Specialist
Aug 26, 2019
332
People are busy comparing themselves to those who are better off, not worse off. They may look at someone like me for a quick laugh, though.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Essence and WilliamKline
WilliamKline

WilliamKline

Flâneur
Sep 16, 2019
135
People are busy comparing themselves to those who are better off, not worse off. They may look at someone like me for a quick laugh, though.

I'll admit to watching 'Vice drugs' documentaries when feeling at my lowest - H addicts having a really terrible life do make me feel a bit better about my own, even though it's heartbreaking to see what they're going through.

In other words: at least when being home alone you can make a conscious choice to compare your life to others' who are worse off
 
  • Like
Reactions: Essence and Astral316
MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
You are catching my drift :) Well I think wanting to CTB is just an outcome of having a shitty life. The shitty life in itself would be enough for others comparing themselves to us to feel a bit better about their own lives. I guess I'm in a critical period of my life, being 36, have decided not to try and have kids but failing in life on many levels
oh similar age actuallly, what do you mean decided NOT to try and have kids? I really wanted to tbh but just spent quite a few years at this crucial age in a really damaging relationship- I didnt really see it at the time though when I was in it-it kinda ruined me-I lost my identity- oh well, what's done is done. I just want out now.
 
WilliamKline

WilliamKline

Flâneur
Sep 16, 2019
135
oh similar age actuallly, what do you mean decided NOT to try and have kids? I really wanted to tbh but just spent quite a few years at this crucial age in a really damaging relationship- I didnt really see it at the time though when I was in it-it kinda ruined me-I lost my identity- oh well, what's done is done. I just want out now.

I've been in a long -term relationship that I had to leave because of not wanting to have kids out of compassion for any potential offspring. She really wanted to have kids, I didn't with reason of passing on my depressed / anxious genes and we just... grew apart.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: OreoWellington
MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
I've been in a long relationship that I had to leave because of not wanting to have kids out of compassion for any potential offspring. She really wanted to have kids, I didn't with reason of passing on my depressed / anxious genes and we just... grew apart.
Im sorry you had to part because of that, but also think that it is thoughful and considerate (cant really find the suitable words I was looking for) to take into consideration the life of any kids- I also think that even if the genes are not passed on- some people that have bad depression and related things-are simply not really able to fully care for and support a child ( I speak from some personal experience/ bearing the brunt of this myself)
 
  • Like
Reactions: WilliamKline
WilliamKline

WilliamKline

Flâneur
Sep 16, 2019
135
Im sorry you had to part because of that, but also think that it is thoughful and considerate (cant really find the suitable words I was looking for) to take into consideration the life of any kids- I also think that even if the genes are not passed on- some people that have bad depression and related things-are simply not really able to fully care for and support a child ( I speak from some personal experience/ bearing the brunt of this myself)

Thank you, I know I wouldn't have been able to provide good care because my genes come from somewhere and the people giving them to me haven't really been able to do a proper job either, still I respect their attempts in trying to do so...
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: MeltingHeart

Similar threads