Help URGENT; please read. i need help.

[youuoublueox]

hello, i'm new to ss. i just found out about it recently, and decided i needed to make an account. i really need help. please.

so, long story short, i've been doing very badly recently. everything is getting worse, and i need a break. i know i am a danger to myself. i've thought about it for a while, and decided i need to go to the mental hospital.

the problem is, i'm scared. i know i'm not ready to die just yet (i have had suicidal thoughts for years, though) but i need to go to the hospital. i'm living with my parents, but i'm too scared to ask them to take me. i've come up with a plan:

i'm thinking tomorrow night. they'll be out until a little late, and when they come home, i want them to find me in such a state they'll have to take me to the hospital. i know i'm a pussy for not actually wanting to do anything too harmful, but i just want them to know it's bad and i need to go. i think i'm ready to be sent to the hospital. i just can't do this anymore.

so, i think i'll go to the bathroom, take a couple low-dose ativan (i only have 5 0.5mg pills, i've only ever taken them a couple times; never more than one dose. so i think i'll take two, just to be safe- because i'm scared of being drugged too harshly), and some melatonin. again, a low dose, but i just want to feel drowsy so it's all easier- and when my parents find me, i'll be drugged and they'll have to take me. first question, does anyone have any easy to get pills or substances that could safetly make me drowsy or even fall asleep? i don't know anything about mixing ativan (lorazepam) with melatonin.

i cut myself somewhat often, so i'm used to that. they don't know, and have never seen. however; when they find me, i'm going to go all out. i'm going to cut where they can see, and hopefully bleed onto the floor. i want it to be messy, but i don't actually want to damage an artery or something and actually die. i'd prefer not to get stiches, too. i just want them to see cuts and blood, and see me drowsy and crying, and then they'll have no choice but to take me.

does anyone have any tips as to what else i can do (somewhat safely) to make it more concerning? like, i'll have taken SOME drugs (ativan and melatonin) but i know those don't do much, but i know i'll already be sleepy and upset. i want the cuts to be deep enough that they're concerning- but again, i don't want to ACTUALLY bleed out. i usually sh on my thighs, and i'll probably be wearing pants or shorts? so i'll definetly cut on my arms, shoulders, wrists (but i'm scared of dying from that, so i don't know) and legs. but i'm just so scared it won't be "bad" enough, and they'll try to solve it themselves. please, any tips. anything helps. please.

i've done some research into being admitted to the hospital. if all goes well, i won't even have to talk- i'll be disoriented and bleeding. i know it'll be scary. i'm so fucking scared. but i need to do this- i need to go to the hospital, and them finding me like this is the only way. i don't know if they'll call 911 (if they do, does anyone know what will happen? will the nurses/doctors talk to me? i've never been in an ambulance.), or just drive me themselves- but either way, if everything goes according to plan, i'll be taken to the hospital, but i don't really know the details of what will happen, though. i know i'll be asked questions and stuff, and probably my cuts will be treated? i don't want to get stiches, but if i do, would they sedate me?? would they even be allowed to, if they find out i'm on ativan and melatonin (even though its a low dose)? what will they do???

i know its a long waiting process, too. i'll probably be kept in a room or something, i've heard of a 72 hour hold? i don't know. but this needs to happen. i need this.

so i guess i just want to know what i can do to make it seem more "concerning" when they find me, to the point where they'll have to take me to the hospital. and what doses i should take to safely feel less pain (maybe) or be more tired/drowsy/disoriented?? but not to the point of having a panic attack, like when you take too much weed?? you know??? i'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. i'm not in a good headspace right now. i just needed to post this somewhere, and here was my best and last hope.

and, if anyone knows the actual process of being taken to the hospital for a kind of ?? suicide attempt?? and cutting? and just having a breakdown? i think they'll probably ask me if i think i need to go to the ward, and i'll say yes. hopefully. if i don't panic. most of it is personal fears, like what my parents will change when i get discharged. but i just can't do this anymore- i don't care enough. if anyone has any tips, while being in the mental hospital? or any warnings?

thank you so much for reading. i'm sorry this is a lot, and probably doesn't make much sense- i'm trying so hard. please, anyone, i need help.

 

[finishLana]

Hi and Im sorry you are feeling this way. I would say try to not harm yourself as well as don't take those pills. Good that you realize that you might be dangerous to yourself and you don't want to end your life (which is extremely difficult) - you need to talk to mental health care professionals, work with a therapist. But to make it happen best way would be telling your parents that you need serious help and you are mentally struggling, you can tell them that you have suicidal thoughts for a while now but you don't want to make something that you will regret, you need help and supervision of a mental health care professional

 

[Alo97]

don't do that. just go to them and tell them what the situation is, how long you have been facing this and that you are afraid of yourself. if you are afraid to do that then call the help line in your country and tell your story there and that you don't feel safe with yourself. If you need attention for your problems from your parents then don't get it this way you will hurt and scare them unnecessarily. hospitals are shitty, but at the hospital they will guide you there is nothing to be afraid of.

 

[yowai]

Mental hospitals are horrible been there 5 times. You won't have any autonomy and be on mercy of nurses and whatever the doctors think. But if you really want to restrain yourself like that just tell some therapist you're gonna do it and they will probably intervene and commit you
But its just my experience because I never been commited voluntarily.

 

[Silent_cries]

Mind if I ask why you're scared to ask them? Maybe you could try to write to them if that's easier? If you're looking to go to a mental facility then pls do research to ensure you don't end up in one of those hellish ones, don't want you to get any sicker than you already are There are places that will provide decent treatment though, so I'm not saying you shouldn't section yourself by any means, just want you to be cautious about where you section yourself, that's all. Good luck

 

[-Link-]

I strongly encourage you to avoid traumatizing your parents like this and look at going straight to the hospital instead.

You do not have to be actively bleeding or physically injured at all to be admitted into a psychiatric ward.

In assessing a patient for suicide risk, a hospital is looking for three things:

• You have a specific plan. Not "I'm feeling suicidal" or "I want to kill myself." A detailed plan.
• You have ready access to the means to carry out the plan.
• You intend to carry out the plan in the immediate short-term future.

i know i am a danger to myself

Why?

I'm not asking.

But the hospital will want to know why, and what they'll be listening for is the above-mentioned three points. They'll be asking themselves, "If we release this patient, what are the odds they're going to act on their plan?"

Another option you have is to call a local crisis line (if there's one available). Many localities have a crisis line you can call and, if they assess you as a risk, they would send professionals (usually in pairs) to your location to do a further assessment. And then if they deem it necessary, they may ask you if you want to go to the hospital on a "voluntary involuntary" basis (meaning, once you choose to do it, there's no turning back). Then they'd take you to the hospital, which would immediately take you more seriously since you'd already have been assessed by a crisis team.

As to tips for being in a mental hospital, I'd advise you keep a low profile and don't talk to other patients unless it's absolutely necessary or unless it's someone you really feel like you vibe with. Don't overshare. Don't assume anything. Don't talk about other patients. Focus on the nurses and doctors and the reason why you're there in the first place: getting help.

I do wish you good luck and as well as can be under the circumstances.

 

[Silent_cries]

Mental hospitals are horrible been there 5 times. You won't have any autonomy and be on mercy of nurses and whatever the doctors think. But if you really want to restrain yourself like that just tell some therapist you're gonna do it and they will probably intervene and commit you

A lot of them are yes, but not all of them. There are a few that actually are good too, although it depends on where you live also.

 

[milkcarton]

I don't where you are, so can't give you exact advice, but if you feel like you cannot tell your parents in words, then please don't do this. It's a worse way of telling. Can you ask them to take you to a mental health care professional? Or ask someone else? If you are too scared to talk to people you know (I get it), then you could just call the emergency services or go to an ER and tell them em you are about to hurt yourself. In many places, they take you in and get help sorted. Whether or not they admit you into a mental hospital is also pretty place specific, so I don't know what it's like where you are. If you don't want to die but want help, please call help.

 

[GlassMoon]

Do your parents know that you have those meds, and that you need them? Could you claim that they are empty, and that therefore you need to go to a hospital to get new ones immediately? I guess the hospital would ask why you need them, and you could tell them your story once you are alone with the doctor in a room.

 

[maniac116]

Why don't you just call the hospital & go in voluntarily? Tell them your story & ask for the help that you need

 

[needthebus]

doctors clinicians nurses and the whole mental health panoply all have one thing in common: they are power-tripping assholes who get off on being mean

if you really want to get admitted, and have free health insurance or are upper class, buy a bottle of tylenol, take exactly 3, take 1/4th of a melatonin gummy, empty out half the bottleof tylenol and flush... this is three tylenol...

do not take more than 3, as it will be painful, 3 will already be too many, DO NOT TAKE 4, 3 will hurt plenty

if you are under 18 btw get the fuck off this forum and ignore this advice, but if you need to do a dramatic attempt, don't risk an infection by cutting. you could end up with sepsis and die, ironically

do not do this if health insurance orgovernment coverage does not cover this. it will be horribly expensive. just take medication from a doctor and take up running if you are poor.


then say "hi how are you wargafjfirrumble" and when they say what? say "overdose? i didn't try to overdose. i just took some stuff... but i feel dizzy now. im not trying to overdose"

when you get to the ER, say "I am not trying to die, I just am sad with a headache and only took 4... they interrupted me but I would have stopped at 5. I do not want help"

repeatedly say "i would tell you if this were a suicide attempt. im not planning on taking more from a secret hidden bottle when i get back"

repeatedly deny being suicidal and make sure to use the word suicide so that's the word floating in their brains when they are around you. if they don't ask questions, say casually to someone walking by "Suicide attempt? I can't belive people think this was a suicide attempt.I wasn't going to complete it when they interrupted. People are over-reacting. I'm not planning on killing myself! Everyone thinks about suicide sometimes and I wasnt trying to do anything!"

It's very important to look at windows or exits whenever you deny being suicidal to seem like you are lying.


"i don't need any medication. im not that sad and wasn't going to take the rest! i need to go back home to complete an important task"

when they ask what important task, say you dont know

also occasionally whisper "fuck i should have taken more"

if they ask what it's about say "i should have taken more time to watch my youtube videos"

say "i sort of want to live... uh... i guess"


you get into a mental hospital when you dont want to go. treatment is only obtained when they get off on making you unhappy


also don't cut yourself, it's fucking stupid, you could get an infection at the hospital and lose your arm, fuck that shit

they will also test your blood for an overdose so you have to say you took only 4 and were stopped then flushed the rest because your parents were back, if they demand to pump your stomache, do it, the levels at 3 will be close enough to 4 that it will seem possible

when they ask why you are so anxious to leave say "i don't know, i just need to finish something"

do not let them know about the 1/4th of a melatonin gummy. if they ask if yoy are on drugs, say "i didn't buy anything from anyone, im just sad, i wasnt planning on killing myself, just let me go, i need to get back right away, i have an important thing to do"

express vague urgency with needing to leave to go do something, like watch youtube at home

also say "i didnt try to overdose on tylenol and bathsalts. why do that? i just had a headache and needed like 5 or 6 tylenol like everyone does" then stare at the exit.

if they hook up wires to you, start tugging on them and say "i need to go, i have to finish something i left at home."


follow these steps and you'll be hospitalized for at least 1 week while avoiding infections

if you are poor, just go to an ER and say you need an emergency psychiatrist and your imaginary friend told you so

 

[Doemu]

I have been in psych ward. What I recommend is that you forgot about you parents. Just call directly to the suicide prevention line, and walk to the hospital and tell them what are you thinking about.

The reason for calling is cause they will help you to order your ideas while walking to the hospital and they even can talk with the docs for you what you talked with them before, making it easier.

 

[needthebus]

I have been in psych ward. What I recommend is that you forgot about you parents. Just call directly to the suicide prevention line, and walk to the hospital and tell them what are you thinking about.

The reason for calling is cause they will help you to order your ideas while walking to the hospital and they even can talk with the docs for you what you talked with them before, making it easier.

this is good advice and would work and be less dramatic and expensive

 

[dontwakemeup]

I might be way off, but I'll be very blunt and ask you this. Are you upset wth your parents? Have your parents done anything that makes you want to get out their home? It seems like you want to get their attention as you want them to find you in a manner where they will see you hurting, in pain.

My advice is, do NOT take those pills! I suggest you call the suicide hotline. If you can't call them because you don't want your parents to hear, you can text them.

I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Everyone's opinion will be biased about mental health professionals because it's based on their experiences of course.

I has an involuntarily 72 hr hold but it doesn't change the fact they did what they could for me. You can't "fix" a person in 3 days, but it's a start. I will always advise seek help immediately!

I see this post was Saturday. How are you currently feeling? Have you decided what you want to do? I hope you're in a safe space.

 

[J&L383]

Youuoublueox, I'm sorry you are having so much pain. People here, people you've never met, do care about you. Life, as they say, is a journey, and your "journey" is a hell of a time right now. Wherever your journey takes you, I hope you come out better on the end of it. Peace.