Urge to hang myself

[Hollowillow]

Waiting for SN but the physical pain is unbearable... and psychological violence i get when i beg for help is torture

I have urges to try hanging but scared to hurt my friends here if I succeed. And scared to be paralyzed if I fail partial.

I.... Can't take it anymore... But I love you.

I don't know if I'll try it but I wish to never wake up...

I'm in physical & mental agony. My skin & insudes burn like acid because of the damn chemical... No one believe me. The police said i deserved assault and am the agressor, don't deserve help, don't even deserve to vote.

Social workers defend my agressors & blame me personality

I only wait to get abused more.

I need to escape
Thanks for the hugs but I need people to talk to me...

 

[Sick of it all]

Sounds like a shitty situation for sure. I too plan to CTB another way but hanging is always in the back of my mind. Some days the urge is so great that I get out my rope and feel its silky smooth texture. Only issue I have is I don't have a good anchor point for the end of it.

 

[rationaltake]

Dear Willow Tree. I'm listening to you. Je t'écoute. I know you're suffering. I know what agony is. The axolotl will come and sit with you. Breathe quietly. Tell the axolotl whatever you need to say.

 

[FuneralCry]

Failing the hanging method is what I fear as well, it sounds so awful failing an attempt. Your feelings of wanting to escape are understandable, it sounds really unbearable what you are going through. The existence of life really is just a horrifying mistake. I wish you freedom.

 

[MidnightDream]

Message me if you need to xx

 

[Yavannah]

why dont you send a sample of your hair,urine,and blood to an environmental lab?
if they find out that you are indeed poisoned you will get help and you will have something with substance to show to your landlord and your social worker
are you aware that there are fb groups for people with chemical sensitivities?
maybe you could get support and resources there
i know that these things are real and that you are not crazy
there was a man in fb health group that went thru similiar things: first mold (he had to trash everything and later leave the apartment permanently) and later severe chemical sensitivities and health problems after he was exposed to a high amount of chlor (an accident)
are you feeling better in nature?
thats what he always told me - that his symptoms lessened significantly when he was outside breathing fresh air

 

[wanttodie]

hanging is how i want to die

 

[Kontz2]

Hanging its my plan b, It could be very painful If doing the wrong way, i think

 

[Worndown]

Be it hanging or any other method, please do some research on it first. If you do attempt, planning can eliminate failure. You should only need to do this once.

 

[Hollowillow]

Sounds like a shitty situation for sure. I too plan to CTB another way but hanging is always in the back of my mind. Some days the urge is so great that I get out my rope and feel its silky smooth texture. Only issue I have is I don't have a good anchor point for the end of it.

I'm tempted to try a door... With partial





I'm scared... But persecuted by the police & denied medical care. I can't even speak of my allergies without the police showing up to tell me I don't deserve friends, help or to vote...

Dear Willow Tree. I'm listening to you. Je t'écoute. I know you're suffering. I know what agony is. The axolotl will come and sit with you. Breathe quietly. Tell the axolotl whatever you need to say.

Thank you so much *hugs* sweet axolotl. I'm so scared. Today the administrator will come to my home probably to end the social worker who came to my home. I complained that she's not helping & leaving in the middle of my appointment. Instead to give me another she'll shame me, tell me i fon't seserve help, and call a mean social worker male from another place who mocked me when i cried. She'll push me to suicide for expressing my needs.

My body hurts from the acid spill i did...

I'm terrified. Can't listen to my message or mail anymore... I need to do zoom. Too hard to read & type...

*Hugs* i love you

Failing the hanging method is what I fear as well, it sounds so awful failing an attempt. Your feelings of wanting to escape are understandable, it sounds really unbearable what you are going through. The existence of life really is just a horrifying mistake. I wish you freedom.

Thank you. I wish for health safety friends and anime... But i need to flee relentless abuse & pain. The cops & social services are so srlf righteous that they can tell me the cruellest things and not see how it's cruel & not helpful... Like calling water wet. That's how inhuman I look to them... I wish you freedom as well

why dont you send a sample of your hair,urine,and blood to an environmental lab?
if they find out that you are indeed poisoned you will get help and you will have something with substance to show to your landlord and your social worker
are you aware that there are fb groups for people with chemical sensitivities?
maybe you could get support and resources there
i know that these things are real and that you are not crazy
there was a man in fb health group that went thru similiar things: first mold (he had to trash everything and later leave the apartment permanently) and later severe chemical sensitivities and health problems after he was exposed to a high amount of chlor (an accident)
are you feeling better in nature?
thats what he always told me - that his symptoms lessened significantly when he was outside breathing fresh air

Wow thank you. Can you pm me the info for the tests? The hospital refuse they send me in psychiatry. My doctor say no test exist. But they could test body ph.

For me it was mold & acetic acid or acetone? I evaporated vinegar & mixed it into a corhosive abomination. Or I think bleach was a hidden ingredient...

I'm in agony...

hanging is how i want to die

Teach me by pm? (Not chat)

Hanging its my plan b, It could be very painful If doing the wrong way, i think

Yes a guy got paralyzed so i tried partial 3 times, 2 test, 1 serious. Too easy to fail... But... I'm getting tortured into desperation.

Be it hanging or any other method, please do some research on it first. If you do attempt, planning can eliminate failure. You should only need to do this once.

Thank you... I did research... But still hard to understand... Especially sick & distressed...
.
.
I forgot to reply someone or 2, but did by pm. Thank you for your kindness everyone, I'm really traumatized & really needed it.

 

[Worndown]

Looks good!

 

[Sick of it all]

I'm tempted to try a door... With partial

View attachment 99642

I was thinking about this too but I'm worried the door wouldn't hold my weight.

 

[freedompass]

This person is incoherent and quite insane but carry on giving her hugs and encouraging her to kill herself ok? Good job!

 

[rationaltake]

I'm scared... But persecuted by the police & denied medical care. I can't even speak of my allergies without the police showing up to tell me I don't deserve friends, help or to vote...

Thank you so much *hugs* sweet axolotl. I'm so scared. Today the administrator will come to my home probably to end the social worker who came to my home. I complained that she's not helping & leaving in the middle of my appointment. Instead to give me another she'll shame me, tell me i fon't seserve help, and call a mean social worker male from another place who mocked me when i cried. She'll push me to suicide for expressing my needs.

My body hurts from the acid spill i did...

I'm terrified. Can't listen to my message or mail anymore... I need to do zoom. Too hard to read & type...

*Hugs* i love you

Dear Willow. I know what it's like to be scared and alone. Sending you axolotl hugs.

Has the administrator been to see you yet?

It would be so sad to lose such a dear soul as you. Please don't rush into anything.

Be kind to yourself this evening. Have some nice veggies.

Is there anything at all which comforts you and calms you?

With love and hoping you can breathe quietly and rest a little tonight.

 

[Another Day Empty]

Waiting for SN but the physical pain is unbearable... and psychological violence i get when i beg for help is torture

I have urges to try hanging but scared to hurt my friends here if I succeed. And scared to be paralyzed if I fail partial.

I.... Can't take it anymore... But I love you.

I don't know if I'll try it but I wish to never wake up...

I'm in physical & mental agony. My skin & insudes burn like acid because of the damn chemical... No one believe me. The police said i deserved assault and am the agressor, don't deserve help, don't even deserve to vote.

Social workers defend my agressors & blame me personality

I only wait to get abused more.

I need to escape
Thanks for the hugs but I need people to talk to me...

For whatever it's worth I'm around alot nowadays and free to talk whenever, message me if you feel like it.