borderline-feline
Constantly Sleepy Catgirl
- Dec 28, 2022
- 645
When I started using this forum in December, I thought that this would be a place where I could commiserate with likeminded people and vent about why I want to die until I finally managed to stop being a coward and just catch the bus already. Now I'm not so sure that that's what this place really is. People keep coming to me and offering potential solutions for coping with my pain, even after I've explained ad nauseam that that's not what I need.
I ask for emotional validation because I feel like a bad person, but so much of what I get is just people trying to fix my issues without actually listening to me. I don't want solutions, and I don't want to get better. I figured that people here would understand, but I've even had to deal with an unhinged pro-lifer on this site harassing me and accusing me of not caring about my loved ones, all while telling me that they're trying to help.
I haven't even been here for 2 months, and I've already had so many issues of people blatantly ignoring what I say that I need in a thread, so many issues of people thinking that they know what's best for me, and so many issues of people making the assumption that I want to get better. If I wanted recovery or change, then I wouldn't be on a suicide forum in the first place.
Are things usually like this here? If so, then I may just leave this place since I can't handle a space that I thought was a safe place for me to talk about my problems instead having the toxicity that I came here to get away from. It's not the end of the world if this place isn't for me. On some level, I kind of deserve it for thinking that there was a place where I could actually fit in and not be alienated or isolated.
It hasn't been all bad, but it's so demoralizing and humiliating to have to defend myself against people who won't put in the bare minimum of reading what I say. I'm sorry if I misunderstood what this site is for.
I ask for emotional validation because I feel like a bad person, but so much of what I get is just people trying to fix my issues without actually listening to me. I don't want solutions, and I don't want to get better. I figured that people here would understand, but I've even had to deal with an unhinged pro-lifer on this site harassing me and accusing me of not caring about my loved ones, all while telling me that they're trying to help.
I haven't even been here for 2 months, and I've already had so many issues of people blatantly ignoring what I say that I need in a thread, so many issues of people thinking that they know what's best for me, and so many issues of people making the assumption that I want to get better. If I wanted recovery or change, then I wouldn't be on a suicide forum in the first place.
Are things usually like this here? If so, then I may just leave this place since I can't handle a space that I thought was a safe place for me to talk about my problems instead having the toxicity that I came here to get away from. It's not the end of the world if this place isn't for me. On some level, I kind of deserve it for thinking that there was a place where I could actually fit in and not be alienated or isolated.
It hasn't been all bad, but it's so demoralizing and humiliating to have to defend myself against people who won't put in the bare minimum of reading what I say. I'm sorry if I misunderstood what this site is for.