sincerely dead
It's not me, it's you
- Jun 17, 2023
- 318
i feel like i will never be known. the depth of my pain and trauma will never be understood. and i know "normal" is just a word - a meaningless one, at that. i know that people will come rushing to you and praise you for not being normal because it is just boring, but perhaps i prefer boring over this chaotic existence. maybe i'd take menial moments instead of life altering scars, both mental and physical. i get it, the world says that different is admired and appreciated, but society does not accept the slightest bit of abnormality. it does not welcome the slightest deviation from convention.
i'm a prisoner in my own mind, and my thoughts are tearing me apart. the words that live in my head feel like they're a flesh eating - no, brain eating - disease. i cannot stand a moment of this pain anymore. i do not know how to cope with the circumstances that i am continually met with. i'm in a mental war amongst myself, and i am simultaneously on the offense and on the defense.
the war within myself has a destroyer - one who wants to shoot my brains out. but the other side has a shield - SI - and both are activated. i'm just in the middle.
caged.
i'm a prisoner in my own mind, and my thoughts are tearing me apart. the words that live in my head feel like they're a flesh eating - no, brain eating - disease. i cannot stand a moment of this pain anymore. i do not know how to cope with the circumstances that i am continually met with. i'm in a mental war amongst myself, and i am simultaneously on the offense and on the defense.
the war within myself has a destroyer - one who wants to shoot my brains out. but the other side has a shield - SI - and both are activated. i'm just in the middle.
caged.
