Uncertain. Don't know if I can.

[scaryfast]

I'm in my office. Got a little Webber grill outside with a bag of coal. Still too orange-ish. Thought tonight was going to be the night. Dropped off the kids. Talked to my wife briefly. Told her I was coming to grab my computer. But now. Still a ways from the white coals everyone recommends. Got no motivation. Either way.

Scared of missing the kids. Scared of what's gonna happen to them. In the end I'm the same kid I was 30 yrs ago. But I do not have the strength to carry me again. That's gone for now.

Not even sure if I'm doing this appropriately. But seems like one way or another, you are the ones who listen. Thank you for that. Gonna rest my eyes for a bit.

Rock on.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome to the forum! I'm sorry you have to go through this.

If you plan to do the CO method what you say sounds as if it's not thoroughly planned. Did you calculate the amount of charcoal needed for your room? You should rethink what you have planned to do. If CO fails you may end up with brain damage!

Here's a guide:

Charcoal method advice

Hi, I somehow came across this site after some furious google searching over the weekend. After trying and failing other methods over the past month I came across back to the idea of carbon monoxide and decided to dig further into charcoal burning, of which there are plenty discussions on this...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Carbon monoxide megathread

Hi, this will be the megathread for the carbon monoxide method. I have some questions about the charcoal method, is it a simple method to do? Like buying charcoal and setting it or there is some steps and setup to follow The ppeh gives low rating for preparation but good rating for...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[scaryfast]

Thank you. Got a complete 4.4 pound bag on it. The office bathroom has no windows and is pretty sealed. Got tape for the door and lock. It seems to be getting to the white point I have seen described here. Feel kinda hesitant but it's probably what everyone else feels. Thank you for reaching out.