Unable to change

[mrtime87]

Has anyone ever thought of CTB because they can't change who they are as a person?

I honestly hate who I am as a human and how I behave. Looking back, it becomes more and more obvious I am the problem.

I've lost friends, housing, even health due to how I behave and now I'm panicking because there is no way to end my life.

 

[nextstepdeath]

Yes, I'm the same boat. Keep digging for a conclusion I guess it's all we can do now. Good luck.

 

[mrtime87]

There is no conclusion sadly other than dying outside in the winter. I wanted to be a good person but what I'm going thru is just absurd.

I literally live with a hoarder who gets mad if I try to clean, and have nowhere else to go. It's my fault for being in this situation but holy God I can't handle the breakdowns anymore.

I need to end my life but the more I try the worse it gets. It's truly unfair that those who want to die live and those who want to live die.

Feels like there is no escape.

 

[Neowise]

Yes.
I am absolutely disgusting. Bad humour, bad habits, mentally slow. I have always been bullied, I have always been a loser and I will always stay one. I don't really enrich anyone around me with my presence. If I went missing nobody would notice. I wished I could change that, but I can't. My brain will always be wired to run on failure mode.

 

[mrtime87]

Yes.
I am absolutely disgusting. Bad humour, bad habits, mentally slow. I have always been bullied, I have always been a loser and I will always stay one. I don't really enrich anyone around me with my presence. If I went missing nobody would notice. I wished I could change that, but I can't. My brain will always be wired to run on failure mode.

I can relate. I feel like immaturity is a big problem with my life, and the more I become aware of how bad my behavior is, the more despondent I get.