rowfish
Member
- Jul 15, 2025
- 5
this year is a very important year for me. i need to do well in my exams or im fucked... but i have so much to catch on because i missed a lot of school because of my mental illness. i have so many subjects and it's so difficult to focus in classrooms . each day seems to be longer than the last, the hours are long and after that i have extra curriculars and homework to do, as well as studying and tuition. i feel like i cant enjoy anything because when i do get time to do things i just constantly think about studying studying studying. because im bound to fail badly if i dont study... but the moment i finish a little bit of work i lose all motivation to continue and just rot in bed, stressing out over tomorrow's lessons as well as procrastinating. every morning i wake up feeling like shit and every night i go to sleep feeling like shit. i sit in class everyday and i CANT. FOCUS. im failing terribly at almost all my subjects im not even kidding
it doesnt help that i have an upcoming presentation in front of my class and i have bad social anxiety.. whats worse is that i have an upcoming physical test this year too, and by the way, IM WEAK AS HELL. ask me to run 2-3 rounds around the field and I'll throw up right after. ask me to do 3 half-body pull-ups and I'll do 2 and then DIE.
its exhausting as fuck that i have to juggle my academics, my physical/mental health, my personal happiness/fulfillment, my social life, my finances and my future plans at the same damn time. like at least 3 of these has gotta GO or I'll actually fucking go insane
the worst part? it's only been 2 weeks into the school year.
two. fucking. weeks.
and i already feel miserable.
how my classmates do it and is better at me in terms of EVERYTHING and still not be suicidal, I DONT KNOW . i feel stupid, weak and pathetic.. i cant even picture a future for myself, it's hauntingly heavy. i cant deal with this.
any tips on how to cope are appreciated... healthy or unhealthy i dont care i just need something, anything.
it doesnt help that i have an upcoming presentation in front of my class and i have bad social anxiety.. whats worse is that i have an upcoming physical test this year too, and by the way, IM WEAK AS HELL. ask me to run 2-3 rounds around the field and I'll throw up right after. ask me to do 3 half-body pull-ups and I'll do 2 and then DIE.
its exhausting as fuck that i have to juggle my academics, my physical/mental health, my personal happiness/fulfillment, my social life, my finances and my future plans at the same damn time. like at least 3 of these has gotta GO or I'll actually fucking go insane
the worst part? it's only been 2 weeks into the school year.
two. fucking. weeks.
and i already feel miserable.
how my classmates do it and is better at me in terms of EVERYTHING and still not be suicidal, I DONT KNOW . i feel stupid, weak and pathetic.. i cant even picture a future for myself, it's hauntingly heavy. i cant deal with this.
any tips on how to cope are appreciated... healthy or unhealthy i dont care i just need something, anything.
