Venting (tw; mention of grooming) i feel guilty

[chuckapalahniuk27]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

when i was 14-15 i was groomed by my uncle who would buy me alcohol and tried to get me to move out of my parents house and into an apartment with him and his friend.
theres other stuff to it that i don't really want to talk about. he moved away and from what i hear from other family he lives in this shitty apartment with black mold and still works the same shitty job he did before. i don't know why, but i feel guilty. despite everything, i feel guilty about the fact that i cut all contact with him. i never told my parents what he did out of fear they'd get mad at me instead. no one in my family understands why i can't stand being around him, other than my brother. we tell each other everything.

so there's the part of me that hates him and thinks he's a horrible person, and the part of me that has a lot of empathy for his situation. i feel like it's my fault that his life is the way it is, because he spent so much time and money on me.
realistically i know he was an adult who made his own decisions but it still eats at me.

 

[here_for_now]

Sorry you dealt with that, i understand completely was also groomed by my sister for 6 years until i was 12 or 13yrs.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I truly get what it feels like. I never told anyone when my older cousin was sexually abusing me when I was a kid. Because I was terrified that his life would be ruined, and it would be all my fault. And to this day I still care about him and want the best for him, because outside of the sexual abuse he was a cool person and was like an older brother to me and my siblings. I really hope you are able to heal, much love.