Trying to cut again

[Mea Culpa]

Today I decided to try and SH through cutting again. It's been almost 6 years since I've done it. Wanted something to try and take away from the mental torment I keep putting myself through.

I think im afraid? I didn't really break skin, but the skin I drew the blade on did get inflamed, I managed to make 2 small breaks since I saw 2 small streaks of blood. Very shallow though.

I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong, as stupid as it sounds. Not enough pressure from the blade definitely, tried stretching the skin and I think that's what helped make the shallow cuts.

Lately it just feels like all the weight ive been carrying is getting heavier and heavier. Like an anvil on my chest and I feel my ribs breaking. I feel a sort of desperation of making it stop. Or at least ease the pain. I'm hoping the cutting can help alleviate the weight a little. Wont know till I try more I suppose.

 

[CandycanePuke]

that's what happened to me after not doing it for a while (also about 6 years lol). i think a big part of it is unfamiliarity with your tools, as each time i use something new the cut is never as deep as i end up settling with, if that makes sense? just take it at whatever pace your body thinks is right if this is something you feel like you really need to do.

and don't try burning and give yourself a third degree burn. that was a mistake >.<

 

[Mea Culpa]

I dont know if this would constitute as a burn but I think I did that when I was younger. Ice cube and salt on the skin, got a big square scar on my arm lol.

But yes, I remember before those years ago it was a sorta dull pocket knife. I managed to break through the skin a little more than I had today, Ironic considering this knife is not dull and is quite sharp.

I am taking it slow for sure, definitely difficult to get back into after not doing it for so long.

 

[Why am i still here]

I am taking it slow for sure, definitely difficult to get back into after not doing it for so long.

Why are you trying to get back into it? I SH with a blade but i never stop for too long
It pulls me back all the time like a drug
I also take pills and do other dumbass things but i can never stop for too long
How do you do it?

 

[Mea Culpa]

Why are you trying to get back into it? I SH with a blade but i never stop for too long

Alot of it is said in the main post lol. I stopped initially because it seemed like maybe things were finally getting better for me. But with all the unresolved things like mental issues, trauma/PTSD, abandonment issues etc. It just all felt like a sudden wave crashing down onto me, and it hasn't stopped. I feel like I'm just getting pushed further down into the water. I'm getting back into it to try to gain a sense of relief.

 

[Why am i still here]

Alot of it is said in the main post lol. I stopped initially because it seemed like maybe things were finally getting better for me. But with all the unresolved things like mental issues, trauma/PTSD, abandonment issues etc. It just all felt like a sudden wave crashing down onto me, and it hasn't stopped. I feel like I'm just getting pushed further down into the water. I'm getting back into it to try to gain a sense of relief.

Thx for explaining
I get that feeling man
Its tough but you might have a way to be happy like SH
When you get back into it can you share more ways cuz i never knew abt the ice and salt :)

that's what happened to me after not doing it for a while (also about 6 years lol). i think a big part of it is unfamiliarity with your tools, as each time i use something new the cut is never as deep as i end up settling with, if that makes sense? just take it at whatever pace your body thinks is right if this is something you feel like you really need to do.

and don't try burning and give yourself a third degree burn. that was a mistake >.<

Eyyy like your pfp
Your advice is also really good

 

[Mea Culpa]

Thx for explaining
I get that feeling man
Its tough but you might have a way to be happy like SH
When you get back into it can you share more ways cuz i never knew abt the ice and salt :)

Eyyy like your pfp
Your advice is also really good

I personally dont know many ways to SH besides the basic cutting honestly, but I definitely do not recommend the ice and salt. It can cause injuries similar to frost bite and leave 2nd to 3rd degree injuries. I did it when my cousin told me about it when I was a teen and thought it would be an easier method. But it also left a really big and noticeable mark that's hard to hide. Do not recommend.

 

[fork]

where are you trying to cut?

 

[Mea Culpa]

Around my upper arm/shoulder area. Trying to keep them hidden under my t shirt.

 

[PArazi]

How about acetylsalicylic acid and maybe anticoagulant?

A. Acid is good to more bleeding. I've heard it's good for reducing superficial skin pain, at least a little, I think.

 

[Mea Culpa]

How about acetylsalicylic acid and maybe anticoagulant?

A. Acid is good to more bleeding. I've heard it's good for reducing superficial skin pain, at least a little, I think.

Where would I find something like that? I havent heard of it before.