Venting Trying so hard to keep a composure and a fake "smile"

[Nothing87]

I've been trying to keep my composure but there are times where I break down and get irritated and says hurtful words that I didn't meant to say to people who are talking to me and I do regret those words that I just said. Depression makes me irrational and angry I felt disconnected and lost I felt so confused. I'm trying to fake a smile infront of everyone but inside everything hurts.


As much as I want to ctb now I still need to keep my responsibility and promises and it's hard if you're a breadwinner in your family and having responsibility to keep them happy.

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

I used to do that, I used to pretend to be happy, and smile, when ever I was out with family or friends, but I have found a relief in no longer faking it. I Have found most people don't even acknowledge it, most people are caught up in there own little worlds, that they'll never truly notice that you're sad, let alone realise it and act in a way to Figure out what's wrong. I haven't truly smiled in years, nor faked one, and not once has someone been interested in why, But I much prefer that, as I like my privacy and for my personal life to be for my knowledge only.