Help trouble with dissociation

[manic]

my dissociation keeps getting more worse as ive been more suicidal. i live life completely on autopilot and i am never present in the moment or pay attention to the things around me because i am always somewhere else in my mind and feel like im floating as if im not existing. nowadays i just let it happen and accept that i dont really enjoy things like i used to or care about anything. i notice it gets very bad when i am triggered and spiraling, i am not present at all. i dont know if its apart of any of my disorders or if it's just a me thing but im thinking its just me. I am inside my mind very often it starts causing problems because i am not aware of my surroundings and dont pay attention to the people talking to me and i might look strange too. i am not sure how to ease this dissociation or if i should just live with it, theres nothing my therapist or psych can do. its almost like i died on the inside.

 

[kunikuzushi]

My dissociation has also gotten a lot worse this past year. It's been almost constant. It's ruining the few relationships I have left because I don't feel a connection to my memories, so I don't feel anything for people I've known for a while. It feels like my memories belong to someone else. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm sorry I don't have any advice because I also think therapists can't help me. Although, I know people who find a therapist with a lot of experience with cptsd and dissociation disorders do find some relief if you want to try.

 

[manic]

tysm i dont think i have cptsd or anything though i have bpd and bipolar disorder with psychosis and years of memory loss from these episodes- i feel like my brain can barely function

My dissociation has also gotten a lot worse this past year. It's been almost constant. It's ruining the few relationships I have left because I don't feel a connection to my memories, so I don't feel anything for people I've known for a while. It feels like my memories belong to someone else. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm sorry I don't have any advice because I also think therapists can't help me. Although, I know people who find a therapist with a lot of experience with cptsd and dissociation disorders do find some relief if you want to try.

 

[kunikuzushi]

tysm i dont think i have cptsd or anything though i have bpd and bipolar disorder with psychosis and years of memory loss from these episodes- i feel like my brain can barely function

Oh yes I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to say you had cptsd. I meant to say some therapists that work with trauma might be able to help a little with dissociation. But yes, therapy is a whole big topic and I don't want to recommend it or not because it's a very personal choice. I just wish you the best. And yes I know that awful feeling of your brain not being able to function too. Hugs

 

[Hollowman]

Being dead inside is the worst, sorry you experience it too.

 

[Surai]

I often imagine myself too, sometimes I prefer the dissociated self than the present and use it as escapism.