Venting Tried to ctb using antifreeze. Now I bought SN and I’m waiting for the right time

[GoneByTomorrow]

Last year, before knowing anything at all about SS, I tried to ctb drinking a good volume of antifreeze. My research made me believe it would be stressful and somewhat painful but I was under the impression it would be relatively a safe method, since once my body was already damaged, there would be no turning back. Boy, I was wrong. It came out to be the worst month of my life.

Now I'm researching again and I think SN will be the best method I can afford since N is totally unrealistic for me. I don't care too much about pain or discomfort, if I could go peacefully I would, but I can't. Now I'm just waiting for the right time. It could be in a week or in a year.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Can I ask what happened when you drank the antifreeze?
Did you end up in hospital?

I've been thinking about this too, as sn seems to be getting more and more difficult to obtain in europe.

 

[Meditation guide]

It came out to be the worst month of my life.

I'm sorry about that! I wouldn't mind hearing what that was like if you feel like sharing. I was thinking about that method for my own purpose.

 

[GoneByTomorrow]

I was hoping I'd lose consciousness in 24h and then I'd be dead by 36h.
Once I drank the antifreeze I felt absolutely drunk and after 12h I was still very drunk but rapidly feeling more and more out of it. Because I was acting totally off, my timing didn't work and a family member found me "screaming and threshing" on the floor and they rushed me to the hospital. Now I can't confirm that because I don't remember a thing.

At the hospital I was in ICU for 10 days, daily dialysis and I was discharged after another 10 days. Now, I think if I wasn't found at all it would have been "kinda" peaceful, but it's the timeline is really messy and unpredictable.

I'm sorry about that! I wouldn't mind hearing what that was like if you feel like sharing. I was thinking about that method for my own purpose.

The dying part was easy, much more peaceful than I thought. I was expecting to be throwing up in pain but it didn't happened at all. I actually don't remember feeling in physical pain at all, instead it would just a very unplesant feeling of putting my body in a extreme stress. If that makes sense.

It came out to the the worst month of my live just because I made it out alive. That period in the hospital was a nightmare, I had pipes in every hole of my body and receiving dialysis from the neck.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I'm sorry about your experience, and thank you for sharing details.
I have heard of true crime stories where let's say the wife poisons the husband with antifreeze over a longer period of time, and he thinks it's a bad cold.
Would this work to ctb, would taking lower dosages but often make the death less painful, but more effective?
Sorry if I'm speculating here.

 

[GoneByTomorrow]

I'm sorry about your experience, and thank you for sharing details.
I have heard of true crime stories where let's say the wife poisons the husband with antifreeze over a longer period of time, and he thinks it's a bad cold.
Would this work to ctb, would taking lower dosages but often make the death less painful, but more effective?
Sorry if I'm speculating here.

I'd think that would make death more uncertain and suffering more prominent. I believe it is used in this way in crime scenes for making death a more natural event, coming from an illness, since a healthy person dying absolutely out of nowhere in 24 hours would raise many red flags. So trying to link the death to a disease that has been happening for a few weeks would make it all more credible.

If I was to try again this method, I'd rent a place for at least 3 days, but I don't think I'd give it a try anymore.

 

[Meditation guide]

It destroys the kidneys and you die that way. It's supposed to be horribly painful and probably Gone doesn't remember that but the screaming and thrashing on the floor sounds like pain to me.

 

[MyRite2Die]

I've heard split stories some people saying it was painless just felt drunk but had a horrific time in hospital and permanent disability and some people have said it didn't effect them at all and other that have said it was the most painful horrific period in there life. I'm using this method tomorrow I live alone so hopefully nobody will find me but I'm nervous as to how my body will react.