Soul
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
- Apr 12, 2019
- 4,704
I posted about this on reddit as suggested and people are commenting about how obvious it was that it was a scam. I feel terrible- why did I keep paying, why didn't I see?
I'm just so desperate for peace. My life is so chaotic and distressing and I can't take anymore. I want to go to sleep and not wake up, that's the point of N right? I don't want anymore pain but I clearly deserve it.
I struggle to sleep and when I do I have nightmares then I wake up having a panic attack which takes hours to fully calm down from. My days are filled with flashbacks and more panic attacks, I just wanted it to be calm.
The place I'm thinking of jumping from is 2.5hrs away and will cost me to get there. What if I chicken out, I won't be able to afford to get home. I want to slip away peacefully in my bed but that it seeming more and more unobtainable. I'm getting increasingly distressed
Sweetheart, my heart is weeping for you. Please don't rush into anything right now. @cornflowerblue has given you some very good links and advice - please reread those posts, and try the steps suggested.
I'm sorry this happened to you.