Tried and failed (again)

[idiot_dad]

Yesterday I spiraled and had a moment of clear focus. My wife left the house on some errands, and I went upstairs to hang myself. It was the closest I've gotten. My hands started to tingle and my eyes started to get a bit dark, and I remembered my son was going to be home in about 20 minutes from school. The house was empty, and I didn't want him to be the one to find me.

I'm so upset, it was the most focused and determined I've been, and I don't know when I'll feel that way again.

 

[Unwr!tten]

I'm so sorry this happened to you, but you are so kind and strong for sparing your son from finding your body.

 

[Jezzibell]

You made the right decision which shows how innate your goodness is. If you let him find you hanging, that memory would scar him for life. I'm so sorry that when the urge was strong you couldn't do it for reasons as above. But I completely understand how it added to your torment.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that the hanging method can fail if one is found too early anyway but of course it makes sense as to why you would be upset to still be here. I envy those with the courage for the hanging method, I hate how difficult it is to leave this horrible world.

 

[peaceindeath]

It's too scary to hang. It takes certain personality. Maybe OD is easier.