Trauma will make me die

[Water-Lily]

I have to accept that on this path of self loneliness is a path of further pain. I do think that therapy is great for trauma, but everyone has their limits. I think I will converse with my therapist about right to die policies (she is open to the topic of suicide). Just to know that I have a choice

Theoretically, there is a part of me that could heal. But my mind is set on suicide. Nothing can change that. Years of abuse, trauma, and victim blaming set me down this path. No amount of love or support can change that. My mind is made up.

 

[WornOutLife]

Theoretically, there is a part of me that could heal. But my mind is set on suicide. Nothing can change that.

This is exactly what's happening to me!
I'm doing my best to try to live and have a normal life again but my mind's SUICIDAL MODE won't turn off.

 

[Water-Lily]

For me its a choice. I chose this path. Could turn my mind towards healing and health but I dont want to. There are many layers that keeps me here, but I ultimately want to stay here

 

[Lost10]

I feel like I have no choice. It's too late to turn back now. My mind is also made up.

 

[Water-Lily]

Mhm. I feel I have walked down this path so there isnt any point in going back. I dont want to disappoint anyone anyways

 

[signifying nothing]

Mhm. I feel I have walked down this path so there isnt any point in going back. I dont want to disappoint anyone anyways

Does it almost feel like your destiny then? I mean does it feel like something you are being pulled towards, something you feel destined for?

 

[Water-Lily]

Yes. I feel I am destined for suicide

 

[signifying nothing]

Yes. I feel I am destined for suicide

In a way that's good because it means you can relax a bit, knowing that you will end that way.

This is how I tend to think/feel about what is happening to me anyway - if it's my fate then everything will find its own way to come about and all I need do is my bit as and when needed/when the time comes. So much of our lives is beyond our control, we do well if we can mostly just let it happen.