How does anyone succeed at PSH? It is the only method available to me, and I can't see how to do it. the other method is suffocation, everyone is saying that is horrible. I'm trapped in this room.
I knew my life would come to this point. Being trapped in a room in a House of Multiple Occupation. Not well enough to leave the room, have spent most of today lying on the floor with fatigue.
It's so horrible, being this disabled.
I can get myself up with maybe one medication maybe once a week or once every two weeks. The rest of the time, rotting here. Alone, in a room, lying on the floor as I got rid of my bed, it was giving me backache, and now my hips are aching. I don't feel well enough to communicate this with anyone.
I want to end it so much, and all the methods seem so unlikely. How did anyone succeed at PSH? They did, but so many of us can't do it. If we could do it, we'd be sorted. It's horrible feeling this way. It's nearly 10PM UK time. I did manage to sleep last night, I don't know how. The night before, no sleep without pills. I just want this over.
How do I end this, trapped in my room. Hardly eating, hardly moving. This is not a life. I cannot think straight enough to end things. The only reason I can type like this right now is K. I want K to help me die, and I don't see how.
Jesus. I just looked through an old phone, and I was in psychosis and sending such rude messages to people. Including one woman, who has been visiting me recently to help me tidy my room.
I can't change this. I just want to go. I just don't know how.
I knew my life would come to this point. Being trapped in a room in a House of Multiple Occupation. Not well enough to leave the room, have spent most of today lying on the floor with fatigue.
It's so horrible, being this disabled.
I can get myself up with maybe one medication maybe once a week or once every two weeks. The rest of the time, rotting here. Alone, in a room, lying on the floor as I got rid of my bed, it was giving me backache, and now my hips are aching. I don't feel well enough to communicate this with anyone.
I want to end it so much, and all the methods seem so unlikely. How did anyone succeed at PSH? They did, but so many of us can't do it. If we could do it, we'd be sorted. It's horrible feeling this way. It's nearly 10PM UK time. I did manage to sleep last night, I don't know how. The night before, no sleep without pills. I just want this over.
How do I end this, trapped in my room. Hardly eating, hardly moving. This is not a life. I cannot think straight enough to end things. The only reason I can type like this right now is K. I want K to help me die, and I don't see how.
Jesus. I just looked through an old phone, and I was in psychosis and sending such rude messages to people. Including one woman, who has been visiting me recently to help me tidy my room.
I can't change this. I just want to go. I just don't know how.
