cutmyselftilliburn
This kitty gotta go
- Jan 13, 2025
- 4
I had a friend... I met her at the mental hospital 5 years ago. We got in contact recently like a few months ago and got really close. I went down a bad path though... Stealing constantly, drinking alcohol, sneaking to parties, going to hangout with random males we didn't know. Inviting random dudes over to her house after knowing them for a day. We just did really dumb shit. When she's drunk she is mean and aggressive sometimes and says some hurtful things. She never remembers though. She has done some pretty fucked up shit to me as well. Once she told me to stay in her closet while she had a dude over at our sleepover cause she thought he would see me as prettier. She's had sex with someone in her closet while I was in her room. She's gotten pissed at me for asking tiny questions or talking to other friends. If I had a boyfriend she had to come first always. If I ever have a crush she shuts it down harshly. She was possessive, the whole time I like her by the way for 5 years... but I feel she only played with my feelings. She kissed me a few times while drunk once but after that never spoke of it. I've said I loved her while drunk multiple times she never talks about it. Not to mention before she used to call dudes to pick her up around 3 am in the morning make me stay up till she came back to let her in then get drunk and complain about what she did. All through this I stayed loyal like a dog never leaving her no matter how I was treated. Sometimes I mattered sometimes I didn't. Recently we had a slight argument... a mutual friend of ours stated in our texts that he didn't like drunk people while referencing to her. She looked through my messages and got upset. Said I was fake for still being friends with him all while still being friends with him herself. I said I'd block him for her and she said no I don't want that I just think what you did was fake behavior. What was I to do? She didn't tell me what she wanted and just complained! What did she want from me? She knows I can't communicate normally yet forced communication from me and didn't like what she got... I was pressured by my mother and friend to block her. For months friends, family, and my therapists have said to distance from her. I have now. But... why was I not good enough? I was like an obsessive dog for her... I stole for her over hundreds of dollars' worth of things, spent money on her while broke and struggling, put my problems aside for her, done all I could for her! Still not good enough she had even said during the argument that I put in no effort. NO EFFORT? Does she even know what I've done for her, what red flags I've ignored. I failed a grade to by ignoring my work to hang out with her because otherwise she was sad and depressed. I just threw away everything though... all 5 years... all memories. Was I right to do that? or was I in the wrong here?
