DeeDog
Member
- Oct 13, 2024
- 23
Went out with some friends last night and it was good until we went back to theirs to hang out afterwards. We were all drinking but when we got back I kinda kept drinking, even when we got back. When I inevitably had to go throw up for some reason I just started crying. It's been ages since I've proper cried and this was rlly intense like ugly crying, runny nose, LOUD sobbing, and shaking uncontrollably. I don't know why, but in that moment I just felt the worst that I have in a rlly long while. And I just started talking about wanting hurt and kill myself to them. They didn't really know what to do, and I don't blame them. Who the fuck am I to put them in that position, making my shit their problem. I feel so guilty and angry at myself.
The past few days i havent really been eating, so that's probably the reason the alcohol made me vom, cuz I know my normal limits and I should've been fine. But alcohol has never made me feel that miserable and suicidal. I've never had such a mood swing like that before. Normally when I drink I stop thinking about how much I hate myself, and the thing is that up until that point, that's what was happening. I dont know why I did that. I'm so pissed off at myself rn honestly I can't take it. I've known these people for like 2-3 months. I feel so guilty. What the fuck is wrong with me.
The past few days i havent really been eating, so that's probably the reason the alcohol made me vom, cuz I know my normal limits and I should've been fine. But alcohol has never made me feel that miserable and suicidal. I've never had such a mood swing like that before. Normally when I drink I stop thinking about how much I hate myself, and the thing is that up until that point, that's what was happening. I dont know why I did that. I'm so pissed off at myself rn honestly I can't take it. I've known these people for like 2-3 months. I feel so guilty. What the fuck is wrong with me.
