Discussion Torture before CTB??

[CFLoser]

Anyone else consider this? I really think a lot about cutting off my arm, my right arm. I want to really mess up my face too and then CTB. Tbh I don't really know 100% wat CTB means but I think I kinda do.

Anyway yea, I just wanna feel big pain before I die idrk why.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

 

[CJM]

Before my failures I did some classic cut my wrist stuff. Problem was while I did that and was bleeding everywhere I quickly thought about beintg tortured instead where I had no control. I realised I would be horrible at it because pain sucks and my mindset just wasn't there

 

[Pedrester]

I think what makes torture really effective is not the pain but rather the trauma that comes with the sense that you can't control it and theres nothing to do for it to stop, but yeah, i agree that the only ideal time to experience what its like to have your arm cut off would be right befoe you ctb. Just be careful not to passout from the pain or bloodloss

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I can't say I want to feel pain before I die. This is a major reason (cowardice) for not having many, many years ago ctb. But I used to fantasize about using a shotgun in my mouth after seeing pictures of the tremendous anatomical damage shotguns to the head can do. It would be, for me, a giant F-you! to the impersonal forces that made my face and damned me to this life.

 

[Kyrok]

I'm in pain every day. I wake up in pain, I have to limit what I do because of pain, I go to bed late afternoon because of pain. I often can't sleep because of pain.

Pain you control is bullshit. It isn't real. It is playing at true suffering.

 

[NotWorthLiving]

I don't want to go quite as far to cut an arm off but I do want to get a knife and dig it deep and just pull through so I'm basically just a bunch of ribbons

 

[First loss]

I want to go painlessly.

 

[RottenOdysseus]

I want to go painlessly.

same. I plan on taking Heroin when (or if) I kill myself. though I'm afraid of dying from something like a heartattack and being unable to take anything before I die.

 

[First loss]

same. I plan on taking Heroin when (or if) I kill myself. though I'm afraid of dying from something like a heartattack and being unable to take anything before I die.

Will Heroin make it easier to bear?
I never tried any drugs so I am not versed in that area.

Good luck though, hope you find peace.

 

[RottenOdysseus]

Will Heroin make it easier to bear?
I never tried any drugs so I am not versed in that area.

Good luck though, hope you find peace.

I've never tried it tbh. I'm waiting for when I die since I heard the first time taking is the happiest you can ever be. I think it will make it easier to bear. Everyone I know who has ever taken it says its the best feeling in the world and you feel truly at peace.

 

[First loss]

I've never tried it tbh. I'm waiting for when I die since I heard the first time taking is the happiest you can ever be. I think it will make it easier to bear. Everyone I know who has ever taken it says its the best feeling in the world and you feel truly at peace.

If you can get your hands on it, I believe that Krokodil drug would be a lot cheaper and people say that it effect is lots of times stronger, but it's effect is shortened.

It is also a devastating as has catastrophic effects on your body, so make sure to only take a small dose.

Do more research on this though, you don't want to mess it up.

 

[RottenOdysseus]

If you can get your hands on it, I believe that Krokodil drug would be a lot cheaper and people say that it effect is lots of times stronger, but it's effect is shortened.

It is also a devastating as has catastrophic effects on your body, so make sure to only take a small dose.

Do more research on this though, you don't want to mess it up.

I'll probably stick to Heroin (or maybe a more "medical" opium) since money isn't a problem for me. Thanks for the suggestion though.

 

[First loss]

I'll probably stick to Heroin (or maybe a more "medical" opium) since money isn't a problem for me. Thanks for the suggestion though.

Good luck.

 

[21Neberg]

Thank you so much for making me literally laugh out loud. Didnt think thatd happen today.

 

[21Neberg]

I'm on the "hell to the naw naw" boat because life in itself is torture enough and I'm not going to make myself suffer even more. That's hypocritical to say of me actually, as I'm starving and cutting. But that's not harming myself, that's coping with emotions!