damn, i wish i had this feeling again, after 15 tries, you loose the feeling of it, as you're sure you're gonna survive it, place a shotgun in my hands, and i would be sure i wouldn't get the feeling haha, embrace it blue, this freedom, this relief of knowing it could all be over when you choose to, anything could happen, but i doesn't matter, you can make the suffering stop instantly, you feel godlike, damn now i'm getting sad just thinking of how great it was... I'm sure i lost it for good hahaha, sad