Venting too scared to plan my death

[etherealspring]

does anyone else wish someone would just do it all for them?

im ashamed that i cant even die on my own it's pathetic. im always just floating through life, completely aimless, wasting time and money. and yet im still alive for some reason

does anyone else relate to this?

 

[sserafim]

I wish that I could just pay a hitman to kill me or something. The thought of having to do it myself is terrifying. I've had active ideation and I've made a lot of plans, but I haven't actually acted upon any of them. I wish that I didn't have to be the one to end myself. I have a lot of ideas about how to ctb but none of them get implemented in reality

 

[etherealspring]

I wish that I could just pay a hitman to kill me or something. The thought of having to do it myself is terrifying. I've had a lot of passive ideation and I've made a lot of plans, but I haven't actually acted upon any of them

i couldnt agree more! i hate that dying almost seems just as hard as living, its horrible thing to feel so trapped all the time

 

[divinemistress87]

Yes, I wish I had a Death Doula

 

[Guy Smiley]

Yes, I wish I had a Death Doula

I think there is a burgeoning market for death coaches.

 

[divinemistress87]

I think there is a burgeoning market for death coaches.

I got a psychic reading about what my ancestors say and it said I should become a death Doula. Made me laugh. I agree

 

[LaughingGoat]

Is there a specific part of the planning that you struggle with or is it the actual act?

 

[etherealspring]

Is there a specific part of the planning that you struggle with or is it the actual act?

the actual act of planning my own death. idk how to explain it but it just feels very overwhelming, like theres a lot needed to take into consideration. kinda sucks that both life and death r kind of just too much lol. cant rlly do much but lurk around here for the time being

 

[gorexzxz]

Being scared is normal. You've got to take your own time and planning thing out are you own speed. I believe CTB should be in you own hands.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

I don't, no. What is it you're struggling with? If it were me I'd just think of what appeals to me most as a starting point and start researching.

 

[LaughingGoat]

the actual act of planning my own death. idk how to explain it but it just feels very overwhelming, like theres a lot needed to take into consideration. kinda sucks that both life and death r kind of just too much lol. cant rlly do much but lurk around here for the time being

Definitely makes sense, there is tons of information on this site and the internet in general so it can seem daunting. Do you have affairs (financial, family, etc.) you need to plan for or is it just the actual act. If it's just the act and you aren't worried about if you're found and setting aside your possessions and all that, then I would recommend looking into a method you are interested in and asking or researching info about it first. If the method sounds doable and reliable to you, then you can look into acquiring what you need. Basically break the process into small steps and just take your time, if you're not in a rush to die than you got all the time in the world.

 

[etherealspring]

Definitely makes sense, there is tons of information on this site and the internet in general so it can seem daunting. Do you have affairs (financial, family, etc.) you need to plan for or is it just the actual act. If it's just the act and you aren't worried about if you're found and setting aside your possessions and all that, then I would recommend looking into a method you are interested in and asking or researching info about it first. If the method sounds doable and reliable to you, then you can look into acquiring what you need. Basically break the process into small steps and just take your time, if you're not in a rush to die than you got all the time in the world.

yeahh its just the actual act itself. and thx a lot this was helpful :)

 

[anxiousmess0471]

Yeah I get that fear. Plus a lot of methods have a chance for survival. If you do survive, you can end up with complications that can make your quality of life even worse than before. I also wish I could get someone else to do it for me. You're not pathetic. Don't feel ashamed. Even though people like us think about ctb all the time, it doesn't mean that we're all ready to jump to do it. Like everything, even this takes time if that is what you truly want.

 

[freeme/freemyfamily]

Yes, I wish I had a Death Doula

I would pay for that!