Too scared to ctb but scared of dying any other way.

[Abaigh]

Even though I want to ctb I probably won't because I'm too scared to. But I hate the thought of dying from anything other than my own doing. Idk if it's to do with control or what because I'm a very passive person but I would hate to die of anything other than suicide because then it's not my choice.

does anyone relate or have any advice on why or anything because it confuses me

 

[stevieu]

Even though I want to ctb I probably won't because I'm too scared to. But I hate the thought of dying from anything other than my own doing. Idk if it's to do with control or what because I'm a very passive person but I would hate to die of anything other than suicide because then it's not my choice.

does anyone relate or have any advice on why or anything because it confuses me

That has crossed my mind many times over the years too. Having the means to CTB is reassuring, but ultimately still terrifying when it comes to 'doing it' no doubt. I also hate the thought of feeling totally out of control with not being able to choose how I die.

What a dilemma! I can't really give advice as it gets to me too, but we can only do what feels right to us when it comes to it, I guess :)

 

[Abaigh]

That has crossed my mind many times over the years too. Having the means to CTB is reassuring, but ultimately still terrifying when it comes to 'doing it' no doubt. I also hate the thought of feeling totally out of control with not being able to choose how I die.

What a dilemma! I can't really give advice as it gets to me too, but we can only do what feels right to us when it comes to it, I guess :)

Thank you! It really helps knowing someone else feels the same way.

 

[stevieu]

Thank you! It really helps knowing someone else feels the same way.

I can familiarise with the passive side too. It is one thing I want total control over, yet it goes against my usual personality traits. But when it comes down to it, we own our body, our mind. The complexity of consciousness - the fear we have of the unknown; it is only right that we get to be in control of how we leave.

Still scary in its own right though!

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

You won't be scared to ctb when you have nothing left to live. Like me. I'm just spending my time existing.

 

[Abaigh]

I can familiarise with the passive side too. It is one thing I want total control over, yet it goes against my usual personality traits. But when it comes down to it, we own our body, our mind. The complexity of consciousness - the fear we have of the unknown; it is only right that we get to be in control of how we leave.

Still scary in its own right though!

Ye, it's completely unlike my personality aswell I hate being in control of anything this is the one thing I'm particular about.
I would only ever like to die at my own will not anyone else's or the universe or whatever.
I wish we couldknow for definite what comes after death so my decision was easier.

You won't be scared to ctb when you have nothing left to live. Like me. I'm just spending my time existing.

I'm here if you want to talk about it