Too scared to actually go through with it

[princess_fairy]

I was about to do shallow water blackout but then idk, maybe I didn't hyperventilate long enough or hard enough but I couldn't keep my face in there for even a few seconds before I got scared and took my head out. I know that things are going to get even worse for me and more hellish so why do I wait? I'm scared that the afterlife is going to be even more horrifying than my real life. I'm trying to CTB before my life becomes more of a living hell. How do I get over this fear of the afterlife being even worse or just the fear of death in general?

 

[ankawannadie]

I find that when you are pushed to the extreme then only you can overcome your SI. I still think there is a little bit of living left to do in your case. I wish you the best.