notgonnamakeit
Member
- Feb 25, 2025
- 21
Hello everyone. I haven't been as active recently because I haven't found myself with much to say, but I finally have something. I have tried hanging twice now, and both times I chickened out from SI. I know that death is my only choice now, I know I need to die, I want to die, I have the option right before me... but I still can't bring myself to do it. I really hate myself so much.
Does anybody have any advice on where to go next? I had another thread discussing using medication to eliminate SI, but I can't wait that long, and I'm scared that it won't have enough of an effect. At this point I'm thinking I need to use another method, I think a firearm may be my best option. I would go the SN route, but I don't have enough money to get that at all or the other stuff you need for it, and I'm too fucking stupid and emotional to get a job. Sometimes I wish that I was born with more aggressive parents, ones that would force me out of the house to get a job, instead my parents are the nicest people in the world, and they just go on rants to me that I need to get a job and I don't even care enough to do anything about it.
I just feel clueless at this point. My life is going nowhere. I feel like I have no one. I can't do anything healthy for myself. I can't even end myself, I'm really so useless that I'm just stuck here being an apathetic, unemployed, stupid ass sack of flesh.
Does anybody have any advice on where to go next? I had another thread discussing using medication to eliminate SI, but I can't wait that long, and I'm scared that it won't have enough of an effect. At this point I'm thinking I need to use another method, I think a firearm may be my best option. I would go the SN route, but I don't have enough money to get that at all or the other stuff you need for it, and I'm too fucking stupid and emotional to get a job. Sometimes I wish that I was born with more aggressive parents, ones that would force me out of the house to get a job, instead my parents are the nicest people in the world, and they just go on rants to me that I need to get a job and I don't even care enough to do anything about it.
I just feel clueless at this point. My life is going nowhere. I feel like I have no one. I can't do anything healthy for myself. I can't even end myself, I'm really so useless that I'm just stuck here being an apathetic, unemployed, stupid ass sack of flesh.
