G
grisly bear
Member
- Apr 22, 2024
- 13
Sometimes I have the feeling that I am far too emotional.
It can just be little things that really bother me.
Just a few days ago I accidentally killed a housefly.
It wasn't intentional, but it still hurt me that it happened, a lot.
Other people would/will laugh at me for it.
My emotionality makes my life so much harder.
I feel nothing but pain in this world.
Everything hurts me so much.
Even very rare but beautiful moments wither in time and turn into melancholy.
I am not made for this life.
I have lost so much, experienced so many bad things.
I don't want to have to endure all this anymore and i will ctb for sure.
The problem is my family.
I can't do the pain to them. I wish I could.
But just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.
I know I have the right to my free decision and I will decide freely; but I can't yet.
And it hurts me a lot.
Of course, I also know that I might not care.
That some of my family could and would understand and would be happy if I could finally find peace, but I can't do that.
I'm just too emotional for this world.
It can just be little things that really bother me.
Just a few days ago I accidentally killed a housefly.
It wasn't intentional, but it still hurt me that it happened, a lot.
Other people would/will laugh at me for it.
My emotionality makes my life so much harder.
I feel nothing but pain in this world.
Everything hurts me so much.
Even very rare but beautiful moments wither in time and turn into melancholy.
I am not made for this life.
I have lost so much, experienced so many bad things.
I don't want to have to endure all this anymore and i will ctb for sure.
The problem is my family.
I can't do the pain to them. I wish I could.
But just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.
I know I have the right to my free decision and I will decide freely; but I can't yet.
And it hurts me a lot.
Of course, I also know that I might not care.
That some of my family could and would understand and would be happy if I could finally find peace, but I can't do that.
I'm just too emotional for this world.
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