Too depressed to ctb

[reverse03]

I planned to go ctb tonight but I am too depressed to even get out of my bed. SN is still unopened and not mixed. I want to go and cry but I cannot even do it. I get up and eat something thinking it will make me move to my plans but I overeat and my fasting is now ruined. I just want to end it all but why I want to believe again that there is still some hope. Why I am thinking about other people again when they don't really care if I will be gone or not. I want to go now but my body and mind is playing tricks with me again. I just want this suffering to end but I can't. I often hear others just had a click moment and ctb on the spot. I wish that a moment like that will happen to me. A moment to snap and end it all. I hate myself.

 

[jodes2]

Maybe it's for the best? We'd all miss you, if you're not ready then maybe it's not a good idea anyway. Sorry you're so depressed, I know how horrible that can be

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

I planned to go ctb tonight but I am too depressed to even get out of my bed. SN is still unopened and not mixed. I want to go and cry but I cannot even do it. I get up and eat something thinking it will make me move to my plans but I overeat and my fasting is now ruined. I just want to end it all but why I want to believe again that there is still some hope. Why I am thinking about other people again when they don't really care if I will be gone or not. I want to go now but my body and mind is playing tricks with me again. I just want this suffering to end but I can't. I often hear others just had a click moment and ctb on the spot. I wish that a moment like that will happen to me. A moment to snap and end it all. I hate myself.

Sorry dude. I guess that's all I can say. But if you feel like talking on a more personal level, PM me. Sorry for the frustration tho

 

[freedomcalls]

I'm sorry… your sorrow feels overwhelming even at this remove

I really am so deeply sorry for your sorrow & I hope that, one way or other, you are able to move on from this deep moment of profound sadness

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound like a difficult and tiring situation to be in, and I get that it's so dreadful feeling trapped here where you are unable to free yourself from the suffering. But I do wish you the best and hope that you find what you wish for.

 

[reverse03]

Made up my mind. I will drive to Niagara falls tonight to jump. So if you see a news tomorrow or following days about a guy who jump off Niagara falls that's probably me. Thanks everyone.

 

[Lost21]

I am so depressed I can't even order the items I need to ctb

 

[TydalWave]

I just want to end it all but why I want to believe again that there is still some hope.

This feeling is exactly why I told myself I would never CTB on a low. Which sucks. Because nobody deserves to feel the way you are feeling.

I'm in a similar low right now. My heart goes out to you. Bleh.