Too afraid to CTB

[decaying]

I feel like it's getting closer to the time I should be CTB already, I have everything I need but I haven't even opened the drawer which I keep the supplies in for months. I don't know what I should do. The more I feel like I should be CTB already, the worse I feel about it, I never felt so worried about what might go wrong during CTB before. I can't help but overthink 1 million scenarios about how it's going to go wrong and somehow destroy my life. I just don't have any reason to live except for fear and complacency, which has controlled my entire life. I wish I could stop being like this. I feel so alone.

 

[HiImMisanthrope]

Ur not alone.

 

[Lovelesss]

This is so relatable, you definitely aren't alone feeling this way. I'm personally more and more afraid I'll never have the guts to kill myself and I'll be trapped in this endless cycle of suffering. It sucks…

Hope you find a way out of this hell

 

[ZornTheDreaded]

I feel like it's getting closer to the time I should be CTB already, I have everything I need but I haven't even opened the drawer which I keep the supplies in for months. I don't know what I should do. The more I feel like I should be CTB already, the worse I feel about it, I never felt so worried about what might go wrong during CTB before. I can't help but overthink 1 million scenarios about how it's going to go wrong and somehow destroy my life. I just don't have any reason to live except for fear and complacency, which has controlled my entire life. I wish I could stop being like this. I feel so alone.

have you thought about getting a CTB partner