tomorrow is the only chance i have to kill myself

[rainonme]

because my father is getting surgery and will be at home for about 6 months...do i do it? i have the rope and i have the place. i could do partial hanging on a wooden rod placed really sturdy in my closet...however, i don't know if i should just go just like that?

i have to decide who to give my money to? i have to decide what to write in a note? my belongings? i feel like the process of writing a suicide note would be very painful.

help me. i'm in pain though and i'm tired of it.

 

[socrates]

CTBing is never something that should be rushed. I don't understand why you need him to be gone to CTB, you could also hang your self in the woods if you decide to go. What ever you chose don't be hasty, you can't ever take this back. I hope you feel better.

 

[Amnesty]

CTBing is never something that should be rushed. I don't understand why you need him to be gone to CTB, you could also hang your self in the woods if you decide to go. What ever you chose don't be hasty, you can't ever take this back. I hope you feel better.

What Socrates said. Do not rush it. It is final. If you choose to after thinking it through, best of luck and find your peace.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

Did you think about it calmly? An unthinkable and unplanned act can make your situation worse and fail.

Are you really sure that your only chance will be tomorrow? When you think you're ready, maybe you could CTB away from home... Isn't it?

At this moment, breathe.
Please try to think more calmly.

 

[rainonme]

CTBing is never something that should be rushed. I don't understand why you need him to be gone to CTB, you could also hang your self in the woods if you decide to go. What ever you chose don't be hasty, you can't ever take this back. I hope you feel better.

Since he will be here for a while and I'm not sure if I can take the pain much longer. I don't know if there will be an opportunity where he won't be at home. December is a long time to feel pain. 6 months is long. This is not something I haven't thought about.

I feel like people who make a "date" for suicide don't even go through with it.

I'm not going to go to the woods, I will be found and I do not want that. My father has tracking on my phone too. (No abuse going on with it though, it's in case something ever happens to me...like not coming back from a party...or killing myself.)

What Socrates said. Do not rush it. It is final. If you choose to after thinking it through, best of luck and find your peace.

I know it is final and I honestly am not strong enough to keep living, but I can use the last of my strength to CTB.

Did you think about it calmly? An unthinkable and unplanned act can make your situation worse and fail.

Are you really sure that your only chance will be tomorrow? When you think you're ready, maybe you could CTB away from home... Isn't it?

At this moment, breathe.
Please try to think more calmly.

I think I am pretty calm. I am on Sertraline and Atarax. I am not hysterically crying about it. I just feel very empty.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

I think I am pretty calm. I am on Sertraline and Atarax. I am not hysterically crying about it. I just feel very empty.

Glad you feel calm.

But I refer to your CTB thinking, do you believe that you have thought about it in detail? In your post you appear to be a little lost.

 

[rainonme]

Glad you feel calm.

But I refer to your CTB thinking, do you believe that you have thought about it in detail? In your post you appear to be a little lost.

I don't like to think about it TOO much in detail because when I do it legitimately hurts. It just hurts to think of how I thought life was getting better for me and then it just...didn't. And it hasn't. And I miss the past.

I don't know how much detail I'm supposed to give. I know where and how to do it. I just have to do it, right?

 

[Amnesty]

I don't like to think about it TOO much in detail because when I do it legitimately hurts. It just hurts to think of how I thought life was getting better for me and then it just...didn't. And it hasn't. And I miss the past.

I don't know how much detail I'm supposed to give. I know where and how to do it. I just have to do it, right?

You do not have to do it :(

 

[rainonme]

You do not have to do it :(

Well it's not whether I have to, it's that I want to.

 

[Brackenshire]

Do you feel like talking to us maybe

 

[rainonme]

Do you feel like talking to us maybe

i feel like i;ve talked enough about my feelings to a lot of people

 

[Brackenshire]

Sending a virtual hug yr way, a calm heart and a peaceful journey friend