Discussion To those Actively planning: What are you waiting for?

[intheend]

I have some methods in mind, plus have SN. But really can't decide which method to use, or where to do it. Want to travel abroad. Plus I'm so afraid to fail and wake up even worse. Need to combine two methods also. I have documents to fix aswell (want cremation if found, write that I want to die if vegetable etc.) Honestly I hope to never be found. So guess I have to do it in the woods or something.

Another method I think of is take ghb and drown in an inflatable jaccuzzi with the lid on so no chance to get up, or travel to jump from a high place, but that let someone find me. This is so conflicting and terrible. It takes so lot of time. And this damn SI.

Edit: and yeah, have to get rid of my clothes and stuff too.

 

[justanotherday]

Just waiting to have the guts to try it after two failed attempts

 

[fettuccinee]

I'm trying to just sort some things out with family and friends..Detach myself a little more.

 

[letmeseethedeath]

what still hold me is the fear that after all the pain i will apply i'll still be alive just suffering. i hope i'll do good the job because i can't deal with life anymore

 

[Return2Dust]

I couldn't do it despite having the Sn and antiemetics. I need to figure out how to overcome SI and I'm gone.

I took meto every 8 hrs for 48 hrs and fasted the last 8. I backed out before the Tagamet and Benzo. Having 48 hrs to think about it is too much time.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

Retarded reason but I kind of don't want to die a virgin. But things are starting to be more leaning towards eternal despair and Im afraid I wont be here any longer :(

 

[Thatdude]

This

I have to get financial affairs in order. Statements. Photocopies. Photo album. Waiting for documents to come in the mail. Need to write Last letters.... I refuse to leave in a sloppy manner & leave undue stress on others in addition to the trauma of my death.

Ugh... still so frustrating though..because I feel like I can't just "up & go" yet...

MIx with thjs

To be honest probably plain old cowardice.

I don't want to live but I'm still lacking the final push.

Also, I'm trying to figure out where and when. Like I don't want to devalue anyone's property. So I can't do it where I'm at now because I live with my parents. And because my sister's kids live here, I don't want them to discover my body.

My plan is to find a remote place somewhere no one will find my body. I want to make an app which will go on my phone. After a countdown, it will call 911 and use a tts to tell them the location of my body, and what is going on. It would replay it over and over for a good half an hour to hour. Because of this, the remote place would need to have good cell service.

On the off chance it doesn't work, I don't want someone to find a rotten body. So I want to do it in the winter. There is less people out anyways.

I want the app to automatically send a kill command to my computer. From there my computer will delete all my social media profiles, it will send emails to everyone that will deal with my money and what not, and it will completely wipe itself 7 times. I hate my life so much, I want to erase my existence as best as I can.

Because I never had kids of my own, I think I would move my money to a investment fund for my sister's kids. I don't like or hate any of them. But part of the reason why I want to take my life is how my sister made my life hell at times because she was involved with drugs, and still is abusing substance. I think the kids will need everything to not be like her. And if they do end up like her. They can sit and spin since they won't get a dime.

I think the only other hold-up other than making sure I have everything to take my life. I think it's religion. On the off chance, how could I do it where I wouldn't go to hell. And if recarnation is real. How do I not.

Btw my method I most likely will use is an exit bag.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

I would like to try some shrooms first. Kind of as a last resort. Planning on microdosing. Honestly, not expecting them to do much for me as weed already exacerbates my anxiety so I'm expecting shrooms to do the same. Then I can have final closure that I truly have a freakshow brain and no business being here.

 

[a.h]

This



MIx with thjs





Also, I'm trying to figure out where and when. Like I don't want to devalue anyone's property. So I can't do it where I'm at now because I live with my parents. And because my sister's kids live here, I don't want them to discover my body.

My plan is to find a remote place somewhere no one will find my body. I want to make an app which will go on my phone. After a countdown, it will call 911 and use a tts to tell them the location of my body, and what is going on. It would replay it over and over for a good half an hour to hour. Because of this, the remote place would need to have good cell service.

On the off chance it doesn't work, I don't want someone to find a rotten body. So I want to do it in the winter. There is less people out anyways.

I want the app to automatically send a kill command to my computer. From there my computer will delete all my social media profiles, it will send emails to everyone that will deal with my money and what not, and it will completely wipe itself 7 times. I hate my life so much, I want to erase my existence as best as I can.

Because I never had kids of my own, I think I would move my money to a investment fund for my sister's kids. I don't like or hate any of them. But part of the reason why I want to take my life is how my sister made my life hell at times because she was involved with drugs, and still is abusing substance. I think the kids will need everything to not be like her. And if they do end up like her. They can sit and spin since they won't get a dime.

I think the only other hold-up other than making sure I have everything to take my life. I think it's religion. On the off chance, how could I do it where I wouldn't go to hell. And if recarnation is real. How do I not.

Btw my method I most likely will use is an exit bag.

Bible doesn't condemn suicide. There are 6 cases mentioned and not even a hint that there is something wrong with that.

But everyone fears death as unknown sometimes. It is natural just as death is.

 

[puppy9]

Retarded reason but I kind of don't want to die a virgin. But things are starting to be more leaning towards eternal despair and Im afraid I wont be here any longer :(

Dude your pic kinda look like anime kinda shit, cool

 

[collyzhang]

deleting any information i left on internet

 

[Lethe]

deleting any information i left on internet

You might be with us for quite a while...

 

[collyzhang]

You might be with us for quite a while...

Social media in China is bit more tricky than others to delete.
Weibo, for example, requires user to download their app in order to remove the account
unlike LoL account, simply do a email and they will take care for you

You might be with us for quite a while...

i dont think anyone will reach this forum to find my traces
im not that important to people around me

 

[Taetre]

I just got a lead on how to get SN (it's hard to get it here in my country) so, if it works, ill be starting to arrange things as in selling my car, setting money aside for the death-related expenses and fine tuning the final day logistics (including getting better antiemetics). It seems the end might be near, which makes me happy, life is unbearable.

 

[Ch92921]

Scared to do it. Survival Instinct too stong. Also I have a 12 year old daughter

Survival instinct too strong! But you know it gets weaker over time, if the suffering is permanent!

 

[welshie84]

I'm collecting stuff for more than one type of method attempt. Some of it's coming from different countries , hoping it's all here by the end of this month

 

[zatoichi]

Waiting for my savings to run out. Yes. I'm just a coward.

 

[Thatdude]

Bible doesn't condemn suicide. There are 6 cases mentioned and not even a hint that there is something wrong with that.

But everyone fears death as unknown sometimes. It is natural just as death is.

What most point to is the "thou shalt not kill." The original was shalt not murder, but defining murder/kill is fuzzy for most.

Like some say you can murder/kill a bug, while some say you can't. Some say murder is the act of taking someone else's life through bad actions/reason, while some say that includes your life, and some say by taking any life without it being in defense.

Any case, I have to do some more research into this one. I want to make sure on an off chance, everything on my end is covered. Also, thanks for pointing that out.

 

[Exitforme]

I was actively planning but now that I have my method I'm somewhat more relaxed and willing to extend my life just a bit longer. I'm not really hopeful or optimistic about my future but at this point what do I have to lose?

 

[Elias]

I was actively planning but now that I have my method I'm somewhat more relaxed and willing to extend my life just a bit longer. I'm not really hopeful or optimistic about my future but at this point what do I have to lose?

Strange state of mind isn't it? Once you get the method ready, it really is only a matter of being a bit curious and wanting to see what happens until you just decide it's time. It's quite serene really.

 

[Exitforme]

Strange state of mind isn't it? Once you get the method ready, it really is only a matter of being a bit curious and wanting to see what happens until you just decide it's time. It's quite serene really.

It really is quite intriguing and paradoxical lol. I feel like I have more "breathing room" now that the method is ready. It is like life is no longer thrust down my throat involuntarily. I make a conscious decision to live and not die everyday. That being said I know it will still be difficult to actually kill my life when I eventually decide.

 

[ZEROheroes4]

The right timing, materials, to have the courage.

 

[dmsdnd18]

I have severe anxiety that prevents me from living but also from dying.. i had a date set but then something came up so i couldnt do it. Now i have a new date so hopefully just waiting til then.. trying to get some last affairs in order as well

 

[Heart of Ice]

Just now waiting for my meto. I have Domperidone but it arrived in pretty bad condition and apparently it does not work well with the acid meds.

And also, student loans. In Finland it works so that you can get student loans but you can't get it all at once. If your studies continue you can get more loan later on. This very cheap loan, along with other social benefits, means that you can get quite a load of money from the state if you so choose. Social Services checks your advancement in studies every October (right now, in fact). Now, I have no intention of studying, but this is my first year, and it's normal for even the most hard-working of students to not have any courses done because the studies just started.

So if I pass the check, I can apply for more loans. And these loans are state-backed. And I've checked, it's stated very clearly: if I die, my student loans are paid off by the state. For someone who is not intending to live long enough to pay the loans back, it's essentially free money.

I'd have to wait until December. I didn't have any intention of living that long but I also am not in any rush to die. Free money is nice, and that can cover the funeral costs fairly nicely and leave some money for my parents or for me.