To the people who aren't 100% sure to ctb, are you scared of...?

[Demian]

Yes, because I tried the method closest to N and survived. Now I only have SN at my disposal and, yes, I'm scared.

 

[badK9wolf]

I guess there's still a chance that things might improve for me. I kind of want to ride it out for now. I guess I'm scared of making this permanent choice when there's still a possibility for improvement.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't give a shit about experiences. I don't care about experiencing anything nor do I want to experience anything in life. Nothing good works on me anyway and, even if it did, I'd also have to experience a ton of suffering alongside that too which just isn't worth it no matter what. I'm only alive because suicide is too scary and because I don't have access to painless means of achieving death

 

[Theresnoescape]

Ruining my children's lives and not seeing my granddaughter grow up. Just not sure if I can keep going really, but trying to.

 

[noname37]

don't have a good place to do it at and i don't have the proper materials. if i had a place where i could finally be alone and have the materials i need i would do it no questions asked

 

[BoredNTired]

Honestly one of the main reasons i plan to ctb is because I don't find myself wanting to try new experiences. Nothing really feels enriching or fufilling, be it relationships or any form of stimuli. I'd rather save myself any more disapointment or the effort life takes.

 

[pariah80]

Well, that's the thing. I've come to realize that I've experienced many things, good and bad. That's kind of why I am ready to do it. If this is the only life I will get (I'm not certain that it is...) then so be it. I don't want to grow old in this world. Humans just seem to be getting colder. Old age in that kind of world when I have no one to take care of me just seems like a bad situation. The things I want and the world I was preparing all my life to live in do not exist. In my opinion, even a so-called "good life" seems stressful. Every day is a fight to keep the things you want and acquire the things you need. To me, that's not worth it at all. I'm not afraid of anything now. I'm in the end game.

 

[TheNihilisticViking]

I'm not necessarily scared, but I'm worried that I'll be found during the process of CTB (where somone stops me, or attempts to stop me) and I'm a little scared about my survival instincts kicking in (because I plan to use the hanging method to CTB, since I'm struggling to get SN to do it). At the end of the day, we're all going to die someday, so waiting here to me feels like kicking the can down the road. We will usually die due to cancer or heart attacks/cardiac arrest both of which have a level of pain to them, either that or we might die in an accident and that certainly has pain involved with it. No matter the cause of our death, it will have a level of pain to it, either physical or mental, so the pain we experience during the process is inescapable, but it can be minimised if you're lucky enough to be granted euthanasia.

Also... Killing ourselves isn't what we're biologically hardwired to do. It's just us as humans are smart/intelligent enough to work out that the deals we get in life (by default) are quite crappy because we can't decide our parents/family, we can't decide what we look like, we can't decide how other people will see/perceive us and we can't change if we become seriously ill/sick with a disease (whether mental or physical). It's pretty much out of our control for the most part. Life is slightly tipped out of balance in terms of having more bad/negative experiences than good/positive experiences.

 

[sevennn]

Missing out on experiences?

Forget about the bad things.

I am talking about all the feelings, happenings, events you will lose.

New music, concerts, books, films. Enjoying the rain's scent, looking at sunrises and sunsets, having a lovely drink and meal. The feeling of your heart fluttering interacting with someone you love, hugging them and feeling their presence. The cold breeze touching your skin; overall being able to enjoy your senses.

all of these just turn into suicidal fuel when you can't experience them. so to me this is just a list of why i should kms

 

[DeadNotSleeping]

It used to be I was scared to hurt those around me, then that turned to being afraid of missing out on certain things. Now it's honestly just failing an attempt.

 

[WildAtHeart]

I don't care about what I'll miss out on. I care more about my girlfriend and family and how it will destroy them. Especially my girlfriend.