Help To kill oneself before a loved one's birthday

[bokete]

Am I a bad, egoistic person, to CTB before my little sister birthday on November, and before my older sister birthday on December? The date is scheduled to be in mid August, but I don't wanna them to be mourning and in pain on those special days. Not even Christmas. But I can't endure this for too long, I'm so tired of waiting. There's no hope for me here, and I think they'll be better without me.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Just my opinion... but you can always justify putting it off indefinitely because of someone's birthday or graduation or wedding or something else. It's tricky to predict what mourning is going to look like for your loved ones. Even if you waited till after their birthdays this year, they likely would still mourn you on their next birthday, because it would be the first birthday without you.

 

[Bosty]

I think what wisdom said is true too, no matter when you go, it will probably hurt them for a long time. Every time they think of you it will hurt, so the timing does not matter so much, as long as you don't ctb on those specific days.

 

[TAW122]

I don't think you are bad, egotistical, or selfish for wanting to CTB. You are the only person who is experiencing your own pain and no one else in the world can feel the same pain that you feel, so ultimately, it's up to you to decide when you wish to go.

Personally, for me, I'd prefer not to go during special occasions if I can help it, but if I'm ready and I know it's the only (viable) chance I have before I lose the opportunity, then I would go, regardless of whether it is a special occasion or not. My suffering is valid for me and myself only and no one else knows best of my situation and cirucmstances but I myself.

With that said, it's ultimately up to you and I hope you are able to find peace whether you decide to go on a special occasion or another time.

 

[AlreadyGone]

The timing doesn't really matter because it is going to hurt no matter when you go.