I'm so tired. I'm physically and mentally exhausted in a way that sleep can't fix. I hate how I'm so dependent on others to make me happy. I hate how I can't feel anything. I wish I could sleep and never wake up. I can't fathom living the rest of my life like this. Things lighten up for a bit but I always come crashing back down. It just doesn't seem worth it to keep going when I know I'll be a burden to everyone I know. When I sleep for the last time tuck me in, and never think of me again
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Beautifully written. When you said that you always come crashing back down you reminded me of some lyrics "Tears don't fall, they crash around me".
I wholeheartedly feel the same. I can't see the worth in putting all this effort just to go through another day feeling like I'm going to blow my fucking head off. I've never felt happiness unless it's about being content but I don't know how to accept the life I have.
