tired of fighting SI

[lkjhgfdsa1]

I wish everything turned out to be different. I am so sorry to everyone who has helped me and wanted me to live a happy and good life. And also thank you for everyone that has talked to me on this site over the last couple of weeks. It's impossible for me. I'm tired of my thoughts being in constant conflict.

I am too impatient to wait for my SN. I won't sleep tonight (I won't take my sleeping medications so I will not be able to sleep) and tomorrow morning I am going to make all preparations for FHS and take all my meds to overcome SI and do it. SI and the fear of survival are the only things that have been holding me back.

I am tired of this war going on in my head. I cannot wait anymore. I wan to wake up from this nightmare that I am living in, but that nightmare is my reality.

Edit: I'm really lonely. If anyone still wants to talk with me until tomorrow morning (~10 hours), you can send me a message :)

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I wish there was a way to shut off SI
Or there was just an easy painless non riskful way to die…it sucks

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

I wish there was a way to shut off SI
Or there was just an easy painless non riskful way to die…it sucks

I'm really sorry.
I've seen many of your recent posts. Perhaps in another life, we could have been good friends. For now, that will be my dream as I try to escape from my nightmare.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I'm really sorry.
I've seen many of your recent posts. Perhaps in another life, we could have been good friends. For now, that will be my dream as I try to escape from my nightmare.

Honestly i feel we could've been too,i wish there was a way we could leave this planet together peacefully would feel some bliss in not going alone

And i hope you escape this hell and find peace in the afterlife if there is one

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find freedom from your suffering, best wishes.