bakkikak

bakkikak

Indecisive
Feb 23, 2024
11
First of all, I want to say that I am not diagnosed with anything, as I'm simply too scared to go somewhere and get treated, but I think I can safely say that I'm struggling with anorexia nervosa for over 5 years (I'm freshly 24). It started off as feeling guilty after eating, then completely stopping eating and starving myself, and after some time body dysmorphia also joined in. No matter how small I am, my brain just keeps telling me I need to loose more and more, I need to be even more smaller than I already am! I'm sick and tired of the only thing when I see food being calories, I hate being upset and angry when I get my favorite chocolate for birthday. So I'd like to recover. But it seems like no matter what I do, nothing works out. I'll either stop my bad habits and then I fall to it again, or I sort of give up on recovery so I won't "loose my weight loss progress". I just can't accept the fact that I have to gain weight to actually somehow recover. It happened one time when my friend persuaded me to try recovery (without a proffesional though, as I refused that), and I can't imagine myself being in that place again, ever. It just seems like it's impossible to fully recover for me, or maybe it's because I am alone in this? I'm thinking, that maybe I should really visit a proffesional, but I'm scared I will get hospitalised, as I'm considered severely underweight.

I apologise for any mistakes, or if my message sounds confusing, I am not a native english speaker. I'd appreaciate if anyone who is struggling or had struggled with eating disorders has some recovery tips for me.

Thank you.
 
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Enigma the orange

Enigma the orange

Death is the gateway to peace
Feb 23, 2024
31
First of all, I want to say that I am not diagnosed with anything, as I'm simply too scared to go somewhere and get treated, but I think I can safely say that I'm struggling with anorexia nervosa for over 5 years (I'm freshly 24). It started off as feeling guilty after eating, then completely stopping eating and starving myself, and after some time body dysmorphia also joined in. No matter how small I am, my brain just keeps telling me I need to loose more and more, I need to be even more smaller than I already am! I'm sick and tired of the only thing when I see food being calories, I hate being upset and angry when I get my favorite chocolate for birthday. So I'd like to recover. But it seems like no matter what I do, nothing works out. I'll either stop my bad habits and then I fall to it again, or I sort of give up on recovery so I won't "loose my weight loss progress". I just can't accept the fact that I have to gain weight to actually somehow recover. It happened one time when my friend persuaded me to try recovery (without a proffesional though, as I refused that), and I can't imagine myself being in that place again, ever. It just seems like it's impossible to fully recover for me, or maybe it's because I am alone in this? I'm thinking, that maybe I should really visit a proffesional, but I'm scared I will get hospitalised, as I'm considered severely underweight.

I apologise for any mistakes, or if my message sounds confusing, I am not a native english speaker. I'd appreaciate if anyone who is struggling or had struggled with eating disorders has some recovery tips for me.

Thank you.
I can give you tips, you should probably wait for pm privileges after a certain amount of posts ! 😇
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Right now, I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,897
go slow!!! check out refeeding syndrome. dont push yourself, dont "overeat"

ive been slowly working on recovering from life long under eating without the help of any doctor. ive tried multiple times and they all ended up the same way. when you get pm privileges youre free to pm me if youd like
 
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Bianka

Bianka

No longer human
Jan 16, 2024
179
Just as mentioned before take it slow you've been struggling for years it will take an equally long time to fully recover. But small steps. Sometimes it's a step forward sometimes it's a step backwards but you'll slowly keep going forward.
My advice is to recognize patterns. Like for example when I knew I'll go out drinking with my friends I was religiously fasting for x amount of time not just to feel less guilty about liquid calories but for it to hit better.
First step: be concious about it. "Oh yeah I'm doing that without even thinking about it"
Second step: small improvements. "Okay I will only fast for y amount of time now (y<x)"
Third step: make y smaller and smaller until it's in the "normal" category
I think it's important to understand that what is good and rational for you won't feel good and rational. Be aware of these things. Know that even tho it feels miserable you're doing good and hopefully you'll see the positives one small reassurance at a time.
Reward yourself when you break a pattern. Get a book or whatever you like. Connect recovery with positive things both internal and external.
You already started recovery by wanting it and asking for advice.
Good luck, keep us updated ❤️
(And f ed's)
 
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Valky

Valky

Petulant Child
Apr 4, 2023
1,322
Like said before, you spent a long time dealing with this. Successful recovery doesn't mean to immediately gain weight. I know that with anorexia the only time you are being "successful" is when you are noticeably losing weight, but it is not the opposite for recovering. Recovery already starts where you are now. The wish to recover and especially attempts to do so. Remember to take your time, I know that it is not easy and this is not a race to win, in order to be able to recover.

But recovering in itself can be the opposite of how anorexia started. It usually starts with skipping breakfast, then eating less and less, skipping other meals until you barely eat. So try to turn it around. Try setting times to ready your mind and body to eat again, in order to let your body know again, when it is time to eat and therefore, get hungry. Start by trying to eat a little bit at those set times and don't worry, it is normal to struggle, don't be upset or discouraged if it doesn't immediately work. The point is to slowly reintroduce food to your every day life, the same way you probably left out food slowly. (Which was also probably a long process and did not always work at the first tries :) ).

Eating with others can help, if that is too much for you, it doesn't have to be in person. It helps people to see others eat even over the screen. It doesn't have to be a full on mukbang, there are many encouraging videos on TikTok for that with someone "eating with you" and encouraging you.

A big step would also be to delete and calorie diaries you may have, or tracking apps. Maybe try crossing out the calories on any food packaging to help with that. I know that it is not easy to do that. Even after many years I still remember the explicit numbers for a fair amount of food but I promise, you will remember it less and less over time. Time is key.

I hope this could help a little bit, let me know if you have any other questions or concerns. We are here for you. Best of luck, I am proud of you!!
 
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bakkikak

bakkikak

Indecisive
Feb 23, 2024
11
Just as mentioned before take it slow you've been struggling for years it will take an equally long time to fully recover. But small steps. Sometimes it's a step forward sometimes it's a step backwards but you'll slowly keep going forward.
My advice is to recognize patterns. Like for example when I knew I'll go out drinking with my friends I was religiously fasting for x amount of time not just to feel less guilty about liquid calories but for it to hit better.
First step: be concious about it. "Oh yeah I'm doing that without even thinking about it"
Second step: small improvements. "Okay I will only fast for y amount of time now (y<x)"
Third step: make y smaller and smaller until it's in the "normal" category
I think it's important to understand that what is good and rational for you won't feel good and rational. Be aware of these things. Know that even tho it feels miserable you're doing good and hopefully you'll see the positives one small reassurance at a time.
Reward yourself when you break a pattern. Get a book or whatever you like. Connect recovery with positive things both internal and external.
You already started recovery by wanting it and asking for advice.
Good luck, keep us updated ❤️
(And f ed's)
Thank you so much for yours, and also everyone elses kind words, it really means so much to me :heart:. I will definitely a shot to these tips, I really appreaciate it. I'll keep yall updated for sure :hug:.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
2,923
Sme1 mght nd t/ trnsl8 as ths = nw membr - @Valky if u r free = wld b apprci8td

Thnk thre r dffrnt wys t/ lk @ anrxia recvry - remmbr tht restrictng ur eatng = oftn a majr symptm of nt havng cntrl in othr areas of ur lfe & havng dffrnt emotnl strggles s/ workng on thse & gttng t/ stge whre u cn recgnse & xpress ur emotns & voic ur needs cn b jst as helpfl as th/ eatng

Thre = infrmatn on mangng emotns etc in ths thred

Also thre r othr plces t/ gt hlp whch wll nt rsult in hosptlisatn - e.g via onlne spport grps sch as ths 1

https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/groups/ or https://eatingdisordersanonymous.org/meetings/ -- "provides free, weekly, therapist-led eating disorder support groups (both virtual and in-person), these communities not only aid in decreasing isolation, but provide individuals with a sense of belonging"

U cld also contct ED chartis in ur cntry as thy wll knw mre abt crteria fr hosptlisatn -- th/ fct tht u r willng t/ wrk on recvry = oftn enuf fr sme ppl t/ sty outpatnt & b givn accss t/ profssnl hlp tht wy

Hpe tht hlps
 
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Downdraft

Downdraft

I've felt better ngl
Feb 6, 2024
765
Sme1 mght nd t/ trnsl8 as ths = nw membr - @Valky if u r free = wld b apprci8td

Thnk thre r dffrnt wys t/ lk @ anrxia recvry - remmbr tht restrictng ur eatng = oftn a majr symptm of nt havng cntrl in othr areas of ur lfe & havng dffrnt emotnl strggles s/ workng on thse & gttng t/ stge whre u cn recgnse & xpress ur emotns & voic ur needs cn b jst as helpfl as th/ eatng

Thre = infrmatn on mangng emotns etc in ths thred

Also thre r othr plces t/ gt hlp whch wll nt rsult in hosptlisatn - e.g via onlne spport grps sch as ths 1

https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/groups/ or https://eatingdisordersanonymous.org/meetings/ -- "provides free, weekly, therapist-led eating disorder support groups (both virtual and in-person), these communities not only aid in decreasing isolation, but provide individuals with a sense of belonging"

U cld also contct ED chartis in ur cntry as thy wll knw mre abt crteria fr hosptlisatn -- th/ fct tht u r willng t/ wrk on recvry = oftn enuf fr sme ppl t/ sty outpatnt & b givn accss t/ profssnl hlp tht wy

Hpe tht hlps
Someone may need to translate this as this is a new member - @Valky if you are free it would be appreciated.

I think there are different ways to talk about anorexia recovery - remember that restricting your eating is often a major symptom of not having control in other areas of your life and having different emotional struggles so working on those and getting to the stage where you can recognize and express your emotions and voice your needs can be just as helpful as the eating.

There is information on managing emotions on this thread.

Also there are other places top get help which will not result in hospitalization - e.g via online support groups such as this one:

https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/groups/ or https://eatingdisordersanonymous.org/meetings/ -- "provides free, weekly, therapist-led eating disorder support groups (both virtual and in-person), these communities not only aid in decreasing isolation, but provide individuals with a sense of belonging"

You could also contact ED charities in your country as they will know more about criteria for hospitalization -- the fact that you are willing to work on recovery is often enough for some people to stay outpatient and be given access to professional help that way.

Hope that helps.
 
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melons0da

melons0da

Member
Mar 1, 2024
19
But it seems like no matter what I do, nothing works out. I'll either stop my bad habits and then I fall to it again, or I sort of give up on recovery so I won't "loose my weight loss progress"

It's already great that you've started to ask ppl for tips alr! Keep in mind that recovery from ED is never going to be linear (as in you might take one step forward and two steps back sometimes) and that's completely normal and fine! We are all human and will have days where we have the energy, time, and willpower to change our habits, and some days we just won't.
g. Recovery already starts where you are now. The wish to recover and especially attempts to do so. Remember to take your time, I know that it is not easy and this is not a race to win, in order to be able to recover.
this was said perfectly!


In my experience (both my own and seeing my friends), since ED affects your lifestyle, a good starting step is to initially stay away from triggers that would usually give you thoughts based around your body. For me, I had to distance myself from certain people, things and events and slowly break the habit from talking to those ppl, doing certain things (this is once you've found some patterns of habit)
  • those who I knew had a similar mindset when it comes to ED
  • non-ED having people who shame ppl according to their body/appearance,
  • even ppl who had weight loss as their goal due to health-reasons (i just let them know politely before distancing)
  • looking at my body for too long in reflective surfaces (glances were fine, but choices to judge my body)
    • i even stuck paper on my mirrors to break the habit of looking at myself
  • deleting calorie apps, exercise apps that were used to help with ED like Valky said
  • A big step would also be to delete and calorie diaries you may have, or tracking apps. Maybe try crossing out the calories on any food packaging to help with that. I know that it is not easy to do that. Even after many years I still remember the explicit numbers for a fair amount of food but I promise, you will remember it less and less over time. Time is key.
  • deleting calorie apps, exercise apps that were used to help with ED like Valky said
this was mainly so I could have a space where I could solely focus on trying to recover and shift the relationship I have about food and bodies and all that jazz.

Then I (over a very long period of time, still ongoing even now since ppl change and what I need changes) changed my lifestyle to shift away and have other interests other than ED (tbh my 'interests' aren't really things I like a lot, but one's that I find easy to pass the time and take my mind off of ) These usually improved on other parts of my life and pretty much built a safety net of support that I could lean on if I ever relapsed
remember that restricting your eating is often a major symptom of not having control in other areas of your life and having different emotional struggles so working on those and getting to the stage where you can recognize and express your emotions and voice your needs can be just as helpful as the eating.

  • i slowly started recontacting ppl who I found were supportive and understanding (i usually find that if they don't know about my ED, its a lot more comfortable for me that way since there's no pressure)
    • tbh you could also let people know vaguely that you aren't comfortable with topics of food, health, exercise or whatever might affect you in a bad way
    • in my case, after a while, I tried to get academic help/ support so I wouldn't get overwhelmed by education while recovering,
    • online support groups
  • Ed support groups are great too bc they usually are all trying to recover like you, its good to have a few people who properly understand what you are going through like proteus said here.
  • if you have a community that isn't ED related, that would be a good place to just exist and do things together with people (mostly) without being sent down a spiral
  • slowly I started to pick up new activities, do new things (even things as small as listening to new kinds of music, sitting in parks, starting to play videogames)
    • these usually helped me form new ways of coping with a bad situation that didn't rely on food or the lack of food
    • these were a way of resting and avoiding burnout with work, uni, life
Reward yourself when you break a pattern. Get a book or whatever you like. Connect recovery with positive things both internal and external.
BUT KEEP IN MIND quite often I find myself reforming the same habits I had before trying to recover whenever I got overwhelmed, stressed, e, even sometimes forming new ones where I tried to over-compensate
. Try setting times to ready your mind and body to eat again, in order to let your body know again, when it is time to eat and therefore, get hungry. Start by trying to eat a little bit at those set times and don't worry, it is normal to struggle, don't be upset or discouraged if it doesn't immediately work. The point is to slowly reintroduce food to your every day life, the same way you probably left out food slowly. (Which was also probably a long process and did not always work at the first tries :) ).

go slow!!! check out refeeding syndrome. dont push yourself, dont "overeat"

Everyone's advice in this thread is extremely good, so i wish you and anyone else is also going through this the best of luck and much love



6b0b79c3a2f539bdd0622537af960a41.gif
 
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