Tips for helping parents understand pro choice

[restlesseyes]

I had failed attempts before so my parents know i have suicide ideology but my parents can't stand the thought of it even when i try to bring it up and tell them there are countries where assisted suicide is legal they tell me to stop talking about it immediately I feel like death is so frowned upon in our society when death is literally the only thing that is fair in life and is coming to anything that draws its first breath we all have due dates and being able to control mines brings me a sense of comfort instead of going out in some gruesome way that only who knows when

i understand to an extent because who would want to bury their child but at the same time i didn't ask to be born not trying to come off as rude but that's the truth if i had a choice and was told what my life would consist of be i came here i would have kindly declined

I just want to put my parents at ease and want them to have the mindsets that the people in this forum have, we know people are suffering and the only way out of this suffering is to CTB for some of us , so instead of my parents being heart broken for the rest of their life's they can look at it with a positive outlook say what we say "hope you find peace and your journey was peaceful"

If anybody was able to make their loved ones understand and have any tips for me any feedback would be appreciated

 

[artificialpasta]

Parents sacrifice almost everything for their kids. This tends to be particularly true for mothers. So I don't think it's fair to expect them to "understand".

Also it's suicidal ideation, not "ideology" - a pretty important difference, no one should be actively advocating for suicide as a political stance :P

 

[KillingPain267]

Man, everything you said is so relatable. To think our parents could even be there assisting us in ctb, making sure it's peaceful. But no, instead they only think about how it would make themSELVES feel. It kind of infuriates me, but at the same time I understand and don't want my parents to be sad either. I'm thinking of explaining it well in a suicide letter. But I don't think you can make them pro-suicide. Only another suicidal person can understand another suicidal person. That's why we here always write so relatable posts.

Parents sacrifice almost everything for their kids. This tends to be particularly true for mothers.

Sacrifice... whoop-de-fucking-do. They chose to create those kids and "sacrifice" for them. That's like saying I sacrifice so much sweat and stress to win my video game, a game I chose to play. As far as I'm concerned, parents should provide for their kids FOR LIFE. Yet these mothers and fathers kick out their kids as soon as they are 18-25. Some sacrifice...

 

[AshClouds]

We aren't "pro suicide" we're "pro choice". Theres a big difference in the term.
Anyways, nobody wants to lose a loved one, nothing will change that

 

[FishRain3469]

Agreed... I don't believe there is Anything remotely Conceivable that would help my parents to possibly understand or accept my suicide.. ( Unless I was Seriously injured or had some kind of fatal illness or something crazy)

 

[restlesseyes]

We aren't "pro suicide" we're "pro choice". Theres a big difference in the term.
Anyways, nobody wants to lose a loved one, nothing will change that

We aren't "pro suicide" we're "pro choice". Theres a big difference in the term.
Anyways, nobody wants to lose a loved one, nothing will change that

apologies i changed it

We aren't "pro suicide" we're "pro choice". Theres a big difference in the term.
Anyways, nobody wants to lose a loved one, nothing will change that

that's true at once upon of time that thought alone stopped me from wanting to not be here but at some point i gotta do what's best for me and i would agree with you even more but they can at least have an adult conversation about the topic then just completely shutting the whole thing down

We aren't "pro suicide" we're "pro choice". Theres a big difference in the term.
Anyways, nobody wants to lose a loved one, nothing will change that

that's true at once upon of time that thought alone stopped me from wanting to not be here but at some point i gotta do what's best for me and i would agree with you even more but they can at least have an adult conversation about the topic then just completely shutting the whole thing down maybe find out why i feel this way etc

 

[LimpandNumb]

Being a parent myself, I have this overwhelming urge to protect my children, with my life is necessary.
Mumma bear instinct...
If one of mine wanted my help to end their suffering, well, I don't think I could do it. That's against my instinct as their parent. But having said that, I would try to understand, fight for everything to be better for them to keep going, to be happy.
I can't contemplate this scenario, my child wanting my help. That's tough.
thank you for sharing this from your perspective though, I hope your parents soften and understand this is what you need.
I'd like to think, even though I couldn't help my child achieve death as an outcome, I'd listen and understand.
Hopefully you and your parents can have a meaningful conversation.
Best wishes

 

[divinemistress36]

Its in a lot of parents instincts to protect and keep their kids alive at all costs no matter how much they are suffering its a weird biological instinct .I tried to prepare my parents to but they wont listen. Theres nothing that you will say that will make them accept it

 

[NonEssential]

There's no convincing your family and friends to have them accept your want to ctb. It's just something you need to come to terms with.

 

[restlesseyes]

Being a parent myself, I have this overwhelming urge to protect my children, with my life is necessary.
Mumma bear instinct...
If one of mine wanted my help to end their suffering, well, I don't think I could do it. That's against my instinct as their parent. But having said that, I would try to understand, fight for everything to be better for them to keep going, to be happy.
I can't contemplate this scenario, my child wanting my help. That's tough.
thank you for sharing this from your perspective though, I hope your parents soften and understand this is what you need.
I'd like to think, even though I couldn't help my child achieve death as an outcome, I'd listen and understand.
Hopefully you and your parents can have a meaningful conversation.
Best wishes

no problem! and I couldn't imagine a world where my parents help me i guess i'm being a little selfish by asking them to understand also but it would make me feel better when my time comes knowing that yes my parents are hurt but they understood why i felt like this was my only option

 

[LimpandNumb]

no problem! and I couldn't imagine a world where my parents help me i guess i'm being a little selfish by asking them to understand also but it would make me feel better when my time comes knowing that yes my parents are hurt but they understood why i felt like this was my only option

I hope to they understand because this is important to you. Perhaps a note would alleviate your concerns when/ if the time comes.
In my experience, us parents understand more than we share with our offspring.
Best wishes.

 

[restlesseyes]

I hope to they understand because this is important to you. Perhaps a note would alleviate your concerns when/ if the time comes.
In my experience, us parents understand more than we share with our offspring.
Best wishes.

thank you for feedback note probably would be the best i get

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Buy them a book as a gift - Fatal Freedom: The Ethics and Politics of Suicide

 

[restlesseyes]

Buy them a book as a gift - Fatal Freedom: The Ethics and Politics of Suicide

i look into it

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

This kind of conversation intrigues me. Here's why: When I'm dead, it's over. So why do I worry about what things will be like, when I won't be here to know about it? Death ends everything. If someone is sad or hurt, I.. will.. not.. know. I realize this sounds strange to say. It's almost pulled me under when I realized... even my caring.. will no longer exist. It is ALL gone, everything. To me it's so seductive. Even my caring and worrying, will be gone! It's sweet that you want to help your parents understand. Keep trying, and see where it leads.

 

[Blueberry Panic]

Sometimes I wish my own parents cared enough about me to even talk to me .
I'm sure they wouldn't really care if I ctb , one less thing to worry about .

 

[restlesseyes]

This kind of conversation intrigues me. Here's why: When I'm dead, it's over. So why do I worry about what things will be like, when I won't be here to know about it? Death ends everything. If someone is sad or hurt, I.. will.. not.. know. I realize this sounds strange to say. It's almost pulled me under when I realized... even my caring.. will no longer exist. It is ALL gone, everything. To me it's so seductive. Even my caring and worrying, will be gone! It's sweet that you want to help your parents understand. Keep trying, and see where it leads.

idk it's so weird because i completely understand what you are saying i've been tryna figure out how to word this message for awhile because everytime i write some it , it contradicts itself like if i say im only doing this to worry about my parents feelings that doesn't make sense because those feelings won't exist since im gone but the other side of me is thinking just because im gone i can still care about my family feelings before i CTB and can feel good right before i CTB knowing my family will be ok

 

[monstercatering]

I'm in a similar situation. I tried to ctb back in November and my mom made me promise I would tell her if I was felt suicidal again. I want to talk to her about it just so I don't break that promise, but I really don't see any good coming from it. I agree with the people here that there is no way she'll be able to understand, and she always yells when it comes to that so I couldn't even just have a nice final conversation.
I think the only way is to write a good note and explain yourself well there. That's what I'll try to do, I just need to plan better this time because I really can't deal with those conversations another time.