Venting Tinnitus

[yamiyams]

I developed tinnitus about 6 weeks ago after increasing my dose of prozac too quickly like an idiot and now it's driving me insane. I have panic attacks every couple of hours because i'm terrified that this is permanent and that I'll never hear silence again. My one place where I felt safe was in my bed, in the dark, and now I lay there and this ringing is so loud I feel like putting my head through the wall. I've been listening to ambient music 24/7 to drown it out because it's so nauseating to me I just want to die and have my inner peace back.

The worst part about all this is that i did it to myself. I decided to take the medication. I had taken it two times in the past at much higher doses, no side effects so I thought this time it would all be good. No one, not once in my 10 years on and off taking medication had told me that SSRIs could damage the inner ear. But regardless, I didn't take the proper precautions, I didn't do the proper research and now I've fucked everything up. I was already dragging myself through the days before this and I already have other chronic health problems and I don't know if I can take this much longer.

I have always been hyper aware of hearing damage, I've always tried to protect my ears. I've skipped going to concerts, rarely wear in ear headphones, always keep my music low etc. So it is so fucking frustrating that I get this stupid condition when I'm the most conscious person I know regarding hearing damage.

I have tests to do for school, I can barely concentrate on studying and I'm praying every single night that this is temporary, that this won't stay, that i'll be able to hear silence again. But it's been over a month off the prozac now and zero improvement. I think it's actually worse because it's all i can think about. My life has always been shit but if i can't even read or watch movies without this ringing drowning everything out i think this year is actually going to be my last. For real this time.

 

[monolog]

Which med did you take?
It probably because of neuroinflammation

 

[yamiyams]

Which med did you take?
It probably because of neuroinflammation

prozac, 20 mg which i took for like 3 days before lowering the dose to 10mg which i stayed on for about a month.

 

[monolog]

prozac, 20 mg which i took for like 3 days before lowering the dose to 10mg which i stayed on for about a month.

Have you been prescribed with it because of depression or anxiety?

 

[Linda]

I developed tinnitus about 6 weeks ago after increasing my dose of prozac too quickly like an idiot and now it's driving me insane. I have panic attacks every couple of hours because i'm terrified that this is permanent and that I'll never hear silence again. My one place where I felt safe was in my bed, in the dark, and now I lay there and this ringing is so loud I feel like putting my head through the wall. I've been listening to ambient music 24/7 to drown it out because it's so nauseating to me I just want to die and have my inner peace back.

The worst part about all this is that i did it to myself. I decided to take the medication. I had taken it two times in the past at much higher doses, no side effects so I thought this time it would all be good. No one, not once in my 10 years on and off taking medication had told me that SSRIs could damage the inner ear. But regardless, I didn't take the proper precautions, I didn't do the proper research and now I've fucked everything up. I was already dragging myself through the days before this and I already have other chronic health problems and I don't know if I can take this much longer.

I have always been hyper aware of hearing damage, I've always tried to protect my ears. I've skipped going to concerts, rarely wear in ear headphones, always keep my music low etc. So it is so fucking frustrating that I get this stupid condition when I'm the most conscious person I know regarding hearing damage.

I have tests to do for school, I can barely concentrate on studying and I'm praying every single night that this is temporary, that this won't stay, that i'll be able to hear silence again. But it's been over a month off the prozac now and zero improvement. I think it's actually worse because it's all i can think about. My life has always been shit but if i can't even read or watch movies without this ringing drowning everything out i think this year is actually going to be my last. For real this time.

It might be long lasting, but it probably won't be permanent. In 2006 I was diagnosed with a vestibular schwannoma, which is a bening tumor on the acoustic nerve, on my left side. I'm almost deaf on that side now as a result. For several years, it caused tinnitus. But I haven't had any tinitus for years now. What I think happened is that my brain eventually learned that the tinnitus was just irrelevant noise, and started to filter it out. In other words, the tumor is probably still producing tinnitus, but my brain refuses to let me hear it.
In the meantime, you can train yourself to not let it bother you so much. That's what I did. Basically, I ignored it.

 

[aiyuxhan]

I have tinnitus too and always drown it with background music and a fan. I used to live camping and being in nature. Now silence makes the tinnitus so loud :( I can't enjoy myself anymore.

One of my reasons for wanting to CTB

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[axab43]

I have tinnitus. It is really loud right now. I have so much else going on, I have learned to ignore it. I also notice it is louder when I don't sleep at all, and when I don't drink lots of water/eat properly. THe more upset you get about it, the louder it will become. If you concentrate on it, it will drive you crazy in the end. It is easy to say try and ignore it but it does seem to work sometimes, as someone else said.

 

[yamiyams]

Have you been prescribed with it because of depression or anxiety?

Yes, that was the reason. I had been off antidepressants for many years but my anxiety was really awful at the beginning of this year so I decided to try again. Woe is me I guess.

It might be long lasting, but it probably won't be permanent. In 2006 I was diagnosed with a vestibular schwannoma, which is a bening tumor on the acoustic nerve, on my left side. I'm almost deaf on that side now as a result. For several years, it caused tinnitus. But I haven't had any tinitus for years now. What I think happened is that my brain eventually learned that the tinnitus was just irrelevant noise, and started to filter it out. In other words, the tumor is probably still producing tinnitus, but my brain refuses to let me hear it.
In the meantime, you can train yourself to not let it bother you so much. That's what I did. Basically, I ignored it.

Thank you for this. That gives me some hope. I know it's quite early on for me still but I can't help but catastrophize.

I have tinnitus. It is really loud right now. I have so much else going on, I have learned to ignore it. I also notice it is louder when I don't sleep at all, and when I don't drink lots of water/eat properly. THe more upset you get about it, the louder it will become. If you concentrate on it, it will drive you crazy in the end. It is easy to say try and ignore it but it does seem to work sometimes, as someone else said.

I've found this too. The more I think about it the worse it gets. I also have OCD so I tend to obsess over health problems like this and it's really hard for me to distract myself.......which is one of the reasons I got on the meds in the first place LOL!!!!!!!

I have tinnitus too and always drown it with background music and a fan. I used to live camping and being in nature. Now silence makes the tinnitus so loud :( I can't enjoy myself anymore.

One of my reasons for wanting to CTB

If you don't mind, how long have you had it and how did you get it?

 

[aiyuxhan]

Yes, that was the reason. I had been off antidepressants for many years but my anxiety was really awful at the beginning of this year so I decided to try again. Woe is me I guess.

Thank you for this. That gives me some hope. I know it's quite early on for me still but I can't help but catastrophize.

I've found this too. The more I think about it the worse it gets. I also have OCD so I tend to obsess over health problems like this and it's really hard for me to distract myself.......which is one of the reasons I got on the meds in the first place LOL!!!!!!!

If you don't mind, how long have you had it and how did you get it?

I've had it for a few years. And then it got worse when an anesthesiologist dislocated my jaw via intubation during surgery leaving me with TMJD. Now it's constant constant

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

I developed tinnitus about 6 weeks ago after increasing my dose of prozac too quickly like an idiot and now it's driving me insane. I have panic attacks every couple of hours because i'm terrified that this is permanent and that I'll never hear silence again. My one place where I felt safe was in my bed, in the dark, and now I lay there and this ringing is so loud I feel like putting my head through the wall. I've been listening to ambient music 24/7 to drown it out because it's so nauseating to me I just want to die and have my inner peace back.

The worst part about all this is that i did it to myself. I decided to take the medication. I had taken it two times in the past at much higher doses, no side effects so I thought this time it would all be good. No one, not once in my 10 years on and off taking medication had told me that SSRIs could damage the inner ear. But regardless, I didn't take the proper precautions, I didn't do the proper research and now I've fucked everything up. I was already dragging myself through the days before this and I already have other chronic health problems and I don't know if I can take this much longer.

I have always been hyper aware of hearing damage, I've always tried to protect my ears. I've skipped going to concerts, rarely wear in ear headphones, always keep my music low etc. So it is so fucking frustrating that I get this stupid condition when I'm the most conscious person I know regarding hearing damage.

I have tests to do for school, I can barely concentrate on studying and I'm praying every single night that this is temporary, that this won't stay, that i'll be able to hear silence again. But it's been over a month off the prozac now and zero improvement. I think it's actually worse because it's all i can think about. My life has always been shit but if i can't even read or watch movies without this ringing drowning everything out i think this year is actually going to be my last. For real this time.

This is so crazy, I feel like I could have written this. I developed tinnitus about 10 weeks ago too despite always being quite protective with my hearing. I got it after being on Zoloft for a couple months and immediately quit the medication, although I'm honestly not sure it's from that since I took the same medication for 2 years in the past with no tinnitus.

I really hope it's temporary for both of us. I don't know how bad yours is, but I can tell you personally that I'm doing better than I was at week 6, and that it can get better, in the sense that it doesn't bother you as much as it does now. I won't lie to you or do that tinnitus gaslighting bullshit like "it only bothers you because you pay attention to it!" because the truth is it is awful, it is annoying, and it's normal to be upset about having a ringing noise in your ear all the time. But for me it's gone from totally-ending-my-life bad to being more of a big annoyance but not a reason to kill myself. I also experience other health issues so I know how frustrating and upsetting tinnitus can be on top of that. My DMs are open if you want to talk, I might be able to give you some advice for better handling tinnitus if you're interested. No magical promises of a cure, just things that helped me better mentally cope with it.

All that being said, I hope this is temporary and we both experience silence again <3

 

[itsoverforme303]

I have had tinnitus since at least when I was very young, possibly from the multiple times my mom hit me. Or maybe I had it from birth idk. I have no idea what complete silence is like, lol.

 

[yamiyams]

I've had it for a few years. And then it got worse when an anesthesiologist dislocated my jaw via intubation during surgery leaving me with TMJD. Now it's constant constant

I'm really sorry to hear that, it is so unbelievably frustrating when you go to medical professionals for help and instead leave worse off than before..... even if it was totally unintentional or a freak accident.

I have had tinnitus since at least when I was very young, possibly from the multiple times my mom hit me. Or maybe I had it from birth idk. I have no idea what complete silence is like, lol.

I wonder about this a lot....... like, did I always have this and now that I've noticed it, I can't NOT notice it?? But I feel like that's not true. I'm sorry to hear that your mom hit you, that's an awful way to get tinnitus and I hope it's not bothering you too much.

This is so crazy, I feel like I could have written this. I developed tinnitus about 10 weeks ago too despite always being quite protective with my hearing. I got it after being on Zoloft for a couple months and immediately quit the medication, although I'm honestly not sure it's from that since I took the same medication for 2 years in the past with no tinnitus.

I really hope it's temporary for both of us. I don't know how bad yours is, but I can tell you personally that I'm doing better than I was at week 6, and that it can get better, in the sense that it doesn't bother you as much as it does now. I won't lie to you or do that tinnitus gaslighting bullshit like "it only bothers you because you pay attention to it!" because the truth is it is awful, it is annoying, and it's normal to be upset about having a ringing noise in your ear all the time. But for me it's gone from totally-ending-my-life bad to being more of a big annoyance but not a reason to kill myself. I also experience other health issues so I know how frustrating and upsetting tinnitus can be on top of that. My DMs are open if you want to talk, I might be able to give you some advice for better handling tinnitus if you're interested. No magical promises of a cure, just things that helped me better mentally cope with it.

All that being said, I hope this is temporary and we both experience silence again <3

Thank you for the kind words, I would love to DM you but I think my account is too new for that so I will do so when I gain that privilege.