Venting Time

[Okokaykay]

I feel like I'm just waiting for time to run out- I had such specific plans, but attempts fell through and more and more responsibilities are piling up. I very nearly got hospitalised (but managed to convince nurses that home visits were better instead.)
I am so stupid.

I realise that I am tied to so many people and no matter what I do, I'm bound to hurt someone. All I want to do is hurt myself. It's a constant, dull feeling in a desperate attempt to feel grounded in some way. My body is repulsive as a result of it all- Even a nurse had me take off my shirt and asked me: "How do you expect to ever be seen when these scars will last forever?"
I'm in such a weird spot. I don't have any active plans anymore- I'm just waiting until I have the space to ctb.

 

[cruelexistence]

I feel you. I don't know what to say except I hope you know you're not alone in feeling this way.

Best wishes in your moments before the fall or rise.

 

[melancholymallory03]

I feel like I'm just waiting for time to run out- I had such specific plans, but attempts fell through and more and more responsibilities are piling up. I very nearly got hospitalised (but managed to convince nurses that home visits were better instead.)
I am so stupid.

I realise that I am tied to so many people and no matter what I do, I'm bound to hurt someone. All I want to do is hurt myself. It's a constant, dull feeling in a desperate attempt to feel grounded in some way. My body is repulsive as a result of it all- Even a nurse had me take off my shirt and asked me: "How do you expect to ever be seen when these scars will last forever?"
I'm in such a weird spot. I don't have any active plans anymore- I'm just waiting until I have the space to ctb.

I'm so sorry you are going through this , noone deserves to be treated like that, the way you're nurse is treating you is inappropriate and not acceptable at all, please consider telling someone for the safety of yourself and others. This is not the treatment you need right now, I hope you find peace from your suffering ….I can't imagine how much pain you're in. You are not repulsive….. we are all the same repulsive compostable beings on the inside that will rot away,
good luck on you're journey and ~I hope you find peace