W

Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
175
returning from russia in like two days. fuck canada. jumping off a bridge first day back.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I wish you peace
 
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jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
Are you certain there are no options for recovery ?
Did you want to tell us what your reasons are for wanting to CTB ?
 
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Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
175
Are you certain there are no options for recovery ?
Did you want to tell us what your reasons are for wanting to CTB ?
constantly falling in love and wasting money. have no money. no access to dialectical behavioral therapy. live on stolen territory. am being stalked.
 
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jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
constantly falling in love and wasting money. have no money. no access to dialectical behavioral therapy. live on stolen territory. am being stalked.
ok, but are you sure there's no solution whatsoever ?
Could you take a break from romance for a while whilst you try to get things better organised ?
Could you take some job at a different location ?
 
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Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
175
ok, but are you sure there's no solution whatsoever ?
Could you take a break from romance for a while whilst you try to get things better organised ?
Could you take some job at a different location ?
no, because i have no passion for anything else. i am still a student and rely on the university for finances and job opportunities, and i havent had a job in like 6 months. the game is over
 
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Return2Dust

Return2Dust

Experienced
Sep 28, 2019
246
I hope you find the peace you're seeking, my friend. ❤️
 
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J

jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
no, because i have no passion for anything else. i am still a student and rely on the university for finances and job opportunities, and i havent had a job in like 6 months. the game is over
ok, well if you decide to proceed, then safe travels :heart:
And of course, feel free to make another thread or post on here again, so we can continue to offer support.
 
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Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
175
ok, well if you decide to proceed, then safe travels :heart:
And of course, feel free to make another thread or post on here again, so we can continue to offer support.
my other option is somehow affording one last trip to Eastern Europe. If I manage to do that, I will make another thread. But it is looking slim
 
J

jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
my other option is somehow affording one last trip to Eastern Europe. If I manage to do that, I will make another thread. But it is looking slim
Ok, but even if you don't do that, you could still post here again in a couple of days, so we can offer you more support, but it's completely your choice of course.....
 
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Hopeindeath!

Elementalist
Dec 7, 2019
800
I wish for you peace in whatever you decide to do.
 
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Skyview

Skyview

Going Blue
Dec 9, 2019
473
my other option is somehow affording one last trip to Eastern Europe. If I manage to do that, I will make another thread. But it is looking slim
Eastern Europe is where you need to be , make it happen and enjoy yourself .
 
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Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
175
Ok, but even if you don't do that, you could still post here again in a couple of days, so we can offer you more support, but it's completely your choice of course.....
i don't have internet access in canada
Eastern Europe is where you need to be , make it happen and enjoy yourself .
things cost money, and i dont have money
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I'm trying to understand - you're in Russia now and have to return to Canada in two days? Is Russia where you want to be?

How close are you to graduating? It's quite easy to find work as a language teacher in Eastern Europe, but you need a college/uni degree.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you excellent outcomes.
 
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Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
175
I'm trying to understand - you're in Russia now and have to return to Canada in two days? Is Russia where you want to be?

How close are you to graduating? It's quite easy to find work as a language teacher in Eastern Europe, but you need a college/uni degree.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you excellent outcomes.
i am actually really close. i just cant stand writing garbage papers anymore. maybe i will try going undeclared idk
I'm trying to understand - you're in Russia now and have to return to Canada in two days? Is Russia where you want to be?

How close are you to graduating? It's quite easy to find work as a language teacher in Eastern Europe, but you need a college/uni degree.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you excellent outcomes.
im actually really close. just dont think i would be a reliable teacher. also cant will myself to write another useless paper for the university that scammed me into going there
 
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E

Elbarado

Experienced
Dec 25, 2019
243
constantly falling in love and wasting money. have no money. no access to dialectical behavioral therapy. live on stolen territory. am being stalked.

Hey i feel your despair, feel hugged.

I can´t talk it out of your mind, but please consider your desicion and don´t be hasty.
Would youb mind telling me, how old you are?

Look, i know it hurts to fall in love and get rejected and stuff, but there are like 3.500.000.000 women on this planet, there will be one that truly loves you and is gentle to you. Dont waste your little money you have for the wrong ones.

You said you are still a student? So why shouldnt you get a job afterwards? Or maybe you are in the wrong buisness? maybe you need to change direction and do what you truely love? Believe me you dont need to have lots of money, a big car and stuff to be happy.

You are physical healthy and young, there is so much you can achieve, you dont even know by now. But if you end your life now, you will never know.
i am actually really close. i just cant stand writing garbage papers anymore. maybe i will try going undeclared idk

im actually really close. just dont think i would be a reliable teacher. also cant will myself to write another useless paper for the university that scammed me into going there

I dont want to be offensive, but how do you know you wouldnt be a good teacher? Did you try?
 
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Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
175
Hey i feel your despair, feel hugged.

I can´t talk it out of your mind, but please consider your desicion and don´t be hasty.
Would youb mind telling me, how old you are?

Look, i know it hurts to fall in love and get rejected and stuff, but there are like 3.500.000.000 women on this planet, there will be one that truly loves you and is gentle to you. Dont waste your little money you have for the wrong ones.

You said you are still a student? So why shouldnt you get a job afterwards? Or maybe you are in the wrong buisness? maybe you need to change direction and do what you truely love? Believe me you dont need to have lots of money, a big car and stuff to be happy.

You are physical healthy and young, there is so much you can achieve, you dont even know by now. But if you end your life now, you will never know.


I dont want to be offensive, but how do you know you wouldnt be a good teacher? Did you try?
its a combination of not having enough love and/or money. i need one to pay rent. i need the other to feel useful.
i am 21. i need to pay for rent and tuition. i am not in any business. i work for places that need me.
i dropped all my courses next semester so maybe i will travel somewhere, but love doesn't exist anymore, so i am probably just going to end it now rather than later.

i am bad with schedules and commitment. i dont think i would be a good teacher.

my energy is best spent redistributed. i will die.
 
J

jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
its a combination of not having enough love and/or money. i need one to pay rent. i need the other to feel useful.
i am 21. i need to pay for rent and tuition. i am not in any business. i work for places that need me.
i dropped all my courses next semester so maybe i will travel somewhere, but love doesn't exist anymore, so i am probably just going to end it now rather than later.

i am bad with schedules and commitment. i dont think i would be a good teacher.

my energy is best spent redistributed. i will die.
Ok, well if you're certain that this is your decision then of course we will support you.

It would be good if you could make some more posts again closer to the time if you decide to proceed, however if that is not possible due to lack of internet, then we understand of course....

In case you don't make many more postings then I'll wish you a safe onward journey :heart: :heart:
I believe there may be a better place waiting ahead for us all....
 
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Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
175
Ok, well if you're certain that this is your decision then of course we will support you.

It would be good if you could make some more posts again closer to the time if you decide to proceed, however if that is not possible due to lack of internet, then we understand of course....

In case you don't make many more postings then I'll wish you a safe onward journey :heart: :heart:
I believe there may be a better place waiting ahead for us all....
tomorrow and the day after i will have internet on and off, so i may still post here, because i care about the community. i do have some money to blow due to dropping courses so i may not jump off a bridge in exactly three days, but my mind probably wont change in the end.
 
J

jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
tomorrow and the day after i will have internet on and off, so i may still post here, because i care about the community. i do have some money to blow due to dropping courses so i may not jump off a bridge in exactly three days, but my mind probably wont change in the end.
ok, well whatever you decide, I hope you plan properly and think things through, eg it might be an idea to check the height is sufficient because otherwise the outcome could be very bad...
 
I

I screwed up

Waiting for the damn bus
Sep 11, 2019
883
It feels like the end I know .. But at 21 I think u can work out things ... U have a long time at hand my friend .. But finally its ur call as u know what's best for you. Wish u peace n success in whatever u do brother
 
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Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
175
ok, well whatever you decide, I hope you plan properly and think things through, eg it might be an idea to check the height is sufficient because otherwise the outcome could be very bad...
i see myself as a leech of the state anyway. if they dont want to euthanise me, then their "free healthcare" will be put into action
 
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J

jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
i see myself as a leech of the state anyway. if they dont want to euthanise me, then their "free healthcare" will be put into action
Some people who use jumping as a method but don't plan properly end up in very difficult situations after. You might make things a lot worse for yourself. I really think you should try to plan properly if you do intend to go through with it.... e.g. it might be an idea to check the height is sufficient....

Anyhow, you must of course do as you wish..... :heart:
 
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Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
175
Some people who use jumping as a method but don't plan properly end up in very difficult situations after. You might make things a lot worse for yourself. I really think you should try to plan properly if you do intend to go through with it.... e.g. it might be an idea to check the height is sufficient....

Anyhow, you must of course do as you wish..... :heart:
i tried checking
 
Ame

Ame

あめ
Nov 1, 2019
322
You must be in a considerable amount of pain and suffering a great deal to consider ending your life in this way. I really do wish that circumstances were different for you, and while you might not see it, I have to echo a lot of what has already been said here. You are in the grand scheme of things very young and still have many opportunities to build a life for yourself that brings you contentment. Every 21 year old who is studying at university is in some respect "leeching" from the state because university tuition is subsidized by the provincial government (for all residents - this is why international students are subject to higher tuition fees). It is an investment made by society so that citizens are educated and equipped with useful skills. I hope that you will reconsider your view on that point at least.

I know that you are not in a recovery mindset at the moment but if you are a resident/citizen of Canada there are options for receiving Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. This is still true even if you happen to be a resident of another province and are not covered under OHIP or RAMQ. DBT is offered in various formats at both L'Hôpital de Hull and the Ottawa Hospital. You will likely need to have a psychiatrist send of a referral to these programmes but it is something that is worth looking into. You are a student, so I am sure that you can connect with a physician at your university's health centre. In the meantime please think about reaching out to counselling services at your university.

Obviously, I do not know your full history and so I apologize if you've already attempted all of these things. Please take good care of you.
 
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J

jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
i heard 200 but either way theres no way for me to find out how high it is
There might be ways to get a rough idea from photos if you could get a side view photo, plus something in that photo that you can know the rough size of, eg a car.
200 feet would probably be okay, although I would feel a lot better about 300 feet...
 
W

Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
175
You must be in a considerable amount of pain and suffering a great deal to consider ending your life in this way. I really do wish that circumstances were different for you, and while you might not see it, I have to echo a lot of what has already been said here. You are in the grand scheme of things very young and still have many opportunities to build a life for yourself that brings you contentment. Every 21 year old who is studying at university is in some respect "leeching" from the state because university tuition is subsidized by the provincial government (for all residents - this is why international students are subject to higher tuition fees). It is an investment made by society so that citizens are educated and equipped with useful skills. I hope that you will reconsider your view on that point at least.

I know that you are not in a recovery mindset at the moment but if you are a resident/citizen of Canada there are options for receiving Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. This is still true even if you happen to be a resident of another province and are not covered under OHIP or RAMQ. DBT is offered in various formats at both L'Hôpital de Hull and the Ottawa Hospital. You will likely need to have a psychiatrist send of a referral to these programmes but it is something that is worth looking into. You are a student, so I am sure that you can connect with a physician at your university's health centre. In the meantime please think about reaching out to counselling services at your university.

Obviously, I do not know your full history and so I apologize if you've already attempted all of these things. Please take good care of you.
i made the investment to study what i want to study, society paid for it, and I dont fit in to society. there, i reconsidered it. i have no opportunities anymore.

In Quebec its french only, and the royal hospital of the ottawa paradise doesnt accept quebec residents. at this point i have been waiting for a year and a half. who gives a shit anyway.

counselling services is a temporary solution to a permanent problem.

its all good, i did not mean to be abrasive
 

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