
sinbound haibane
Member
- Oct 1, 2020
- 16
I've known several people over the last few years who would often say things like "I feel like I'm going to kill myself," or "I'm suicidal," in times of emotional distress. Not as like a thing they're saying during a deep discussion of feelings, but even as like an opening to a phone call. When I first started encountering this, it would send me into crisis mode and I would try to do everything I could to offer support, but it never really seemed to change all that much in the end. And ultimately, I've ended up withdrawing near totally, 'cause my life got to a point where *I* was feeling suicidal and I couldn't keep up everything I was doing for them.
Anyway, I don't understand what the thought process is behind this. Whenever I am having these feelings, there's a part of me that *wants* to tell someone, but I'm always too afraid of scaring them and making them sad or feel like they have to stop me, and worry that if I do and then I go through with it they'll feel like it's their fault. So I just sort of do my research, take the steps I see as appropriate, and get ready to die quietly and effectively if/when I decide it's time.
So I was wondering, does anyone here understand better who might be able to help me see where other people are coming from? Or conversely, is there anyone who relates to my perspective? Please share your thoughts if you'd like!
Anyway, I don't understand what the thought process is behind this. Whenever I am having these feelings, there's a part of me that *wants* to tell someone, but I'm always too afraid of scaring them and making them sad or feel like they have to stop me, and worry that if I do and then I go through with it they'll feel like it's their fault. So I just sort of do my research, take the steps I see as appropriate, and get ready to die quietly and effectively if/when I decide it's time.
So I was wondering, does anyone here understand better who might be able to help me see where other people are coming from? Or conversely, is there anyone who relates to my perspective? Please share your thoughts if you'd like!