Discussion Thoughts on selfish suicide

[hikikomori]

if your feeling that suicide is selfish, it is, but you shouldn't be ashamed by it. it's more selfish to drink water because someone in the world is prob dying of dehydration. no matter how much you feel you didnt contribute to the world, you for sure have done enough to ask for your peace and your death.

Idk i said it to someone and I like the way it sounds

 

[Prime]

We don't ask to be born. So its not selfish of us if we choose when and how we die.

 

[nzdarkshark]

I've been told I'm selfish by my dad because I 'purposely made everyone wait while I got ready to go out'.
I'm constantly reminded of why I'm selfish and I hate myself for that.
I try and convince myself my suicide will be anything but selfish but I cannot lie to myself.

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

if your feeling that suicide is selfish, it is, but you shouldn't be ashamed by it. it's more selfish to drink water because someone in the world is prob dying of dehydration. no matter how much you feel you didnt contribute to the world, you for sure have done enough to ask for your peace and your death.

Idk i said it to someone and I like the way it sounds

Comparing suicide to drinking water in terms of selfishness is a bit far fetched.

 

[Roulette]

It seems like when people call it selfish, they only read the very last chapter of someones life. Maybe if they took into account of the entire book, it'd be a different conversation.

 

[Jim]

The way i see it, its not selfish, you as a person, decide when its your time, you are the one in control, all your life you made the decisions/choices to be where you are today. Besides being born, as Prime stated, is one you didn't have a say in ofc for obvious reasons.

 

[Lra888]

It's selfish of others to want suffering people to stay alive.

 

[hikikomori]

's selfish of others to want suffering people to stay alive.

yup its both its the struggle of balance in society

 

[Threads]

It is selfish if you place the burden of your responsibilities onto someone else.

I have obligations that need my tending too. As much as I may desire to CTB, I cannot.

 

[hikikomori]

Comparing suicide to drinking water in terms of selfishness is a bit far fetched.

I can't tell what do you think is worse? I mean I was kinda exagerating for dramatic effect.but yea :'( I liked the analogy

 

[hikikomori]

ready to go out'.
I'm constantly reminded of why I'm selfish and I hate myself for that.
I try and convince myself my suicide will be anything but selfish but I cannot lie to myself.

don't feel bad about it its like lr88 said

It's selfish of others to want suffering people to stay alive.

just because it is selfish dosnt mean its wrong, if your fealling some moral reason, it makes it more justified because it means your generally a good perosn(better than me any way I'm not careing bout my body.) and you probably make empathetic decisions then most
suicide is only bad if you do it in front of a kid

 

[hikikomori]

I think in general, some of us are nicer to the world Cuz we're just done :'/ or Cuz we realize how messed up it is

 

[Red star]

I'm selfish for wanting you here

 

[Schopenhauer]

I've been told I'm selfish by my dad because I 'purposely made everyone wait while I got ready to go out'.
I'm constantly reminded of why I'm selfish and I hate myself for that.
I try and convince myself my suicide will be anything but selfish but I cannot lie to myself.

Being selfish is not that bad. Everybody is selfish, actually (very few are really selfless, but you get my point). But people only want us to be selfish is socially-approved ways (e.g. earning lots of money and keeping it all to yourself is viewed with approbation by society at large).

I'm also with Lra888 on this.

 

[longingforrelease]

One of the things I've learned on this site is that the suffering have a right (or perhaps have earned the right) to end their suffering on their terms. All that makes good sense to me. But in my case I have my daughter's well being to think about. She's only ten. My behavior broke up our little family so because of me she has already had to suffer. She seems resilient and appears a happy normal child. But I made a choice to bring her into this world. And I think with that choice came my responsibility to forever be concerned about her welfare. This is why, frankly, I'm still alive after two years of nearly unrelenting suicidal ideation. As I continue to weigh my options I lean toward the idea that should I make the decision to ctb I should do so in a way that will minimize the pain she will have to endure (by making it look accidental). She will suffer regardless -- and that's on me. And in that, there is something selfish about what I'm considering. I don't see anyway around it being a selfish act. Please note I'm only talking about my own circumstances. I make no judgements about others.

 

[Finallyhere]

One of the things I've learned on this site is that the suffering have a right (or perhaps have earned the right) to end their suffering on their terms. All that makes good sense to me. But in my case I have my daughter's well being to think about. She's only ten. My behavior broke up our little family so because of me she has already had to suffer. She seems resilient and appears a happy normal child. But I made a choice to bring her into this world. And I think with that choice came my responsibility to forever be concerned about her welfare. This is why, frankly, I'm still alive after two years of nearly unrelenting suicidal ideation. As I continue to weigh my options I lean toward the idea that should I make the decision to ctb I should do so in a way that will minimize the pain she will have to endure (by making it look accidental). She will suffer regardless -- and that's on me. And in that, there is something selfish about what I'm considering. I don't see anyway around it being a selfish act. Please note I'm only talking about my own circumstances. I make no judgements about others.

I read your story. I know the idea of an accident seems like the kinder way to go. What do you believe happens when you die?

 

[longingforrelease]

I read your story. I know the idea of an accident seems like the kinder way to go. What do you believe happens when you die?

hey, I'm not a religious person. i was in AA for 18 (wonderful) years and learned how to live a spiritual life that was really just about living according to ethical principles like "doing the next right thing", trying to give back - especially to new incoming alcoholics, live honestly and truthfully. etc. But again, I'm not religious (though I was raised Catholic). In fact I'm professionally trained to be a rationalist (I have a Ph.D. in the social sciences). But my time in AA helped me to believe in a Higher Power of some sort. I can't tell you what that Higher Power is, because I don't know. I just came to believe that a power greater than myself was there and could help me stay sober and lead a good life. The reason I'm sharing all that is to let you know that I don't have a problem with religions, they're just not for me. And I suppose because I'm not a religious person in the formal sense, I have no belief in an afterlife. I simply believe that when we die we end. I don't fear hell nor hope to see lost loved ones in heaven. I just think our biochemical processes come to an end and that it. That said, we certainly "live on" in the memories people will carry with them for better or worse. And of course, that gets me back to my concern for my daughter. I want to leave her with the best possible memories of our time together. I want her to know in her heart that I loved her beyond measure. Hopefully I will live on in heart in a way that gives her comfort that she brought me so much joy. Sorry to ramble on. Hope that helps.

 

[Finallyhere]

hey, I'm not a religious person. i was in AA for 18 (wonderful) years and learned how to live a spiritual life that was really just about living according to ethical principles like "doing the next right thing", trying to give back - especially to new incoming alcoholics, live honestly and truthfully. etc. But again, I'm not religious (though I was raised Catholic). In fact I'm professionally trained to be a rationalist (I have a Ph.D. in the social sciences). But my time in AA helped me to believe in a Higher Power of some sort. I can't tell you what that Higher Power is, because I don't know. I just came to believe that a power greater than myself was there and could help me stay sober and lead a good life. The reason I'm sharing all that is to let you know that I don't have a problem with religions, they're just not for me. And I suppose because I'm not a religious person in the formal sense, I have no belief in an afterlife. I simply believe that when we die we end. I don't fear hell nor hope to see lost loved ones in heaven. I just think our biochemical processes come to an end and that it. That said, we certainly "live on" in the memories people will carry with them for better or worse. And of course, that gets me back to my concern for my daughter. I want to leave her with the best possible memories of our time together. I want her to know in her heart that I loved her beyond measure. Hopefully I will live on in heart in a way that gives her comfort that she brought me so much joy. Sorry to ramble on. Hope that helps.

No worries, I was just curious. I'm currently in AA too. Interesting to hear more about your story.

There will always be positive memories as long as you're around to offer them. I know they're not the same as when you're there in person, but can't you still visit?

Won't you be able to give her memories when she's an adult ? If you don't believe in an afterlife, then all you have is this life to make things better.

I think you love your daughter more than you want to escape the feeling of regret. People hardly remember their childhood, teen/adulthood is where parents are really needed.

 

[longingforrelease]

No worries, I was just curious. I'm currently in AA too. Interesting to hear more about your story.

There will always be positive memories as long as you're around to offer them. I know they're not the same as when you're there in person, but can't you still visit?

Won't you be able to give her memories when she's an adult ? If you don't believe in an afterlife, then all you have is this life to make things better.

I think you love your daughter more than you want to escape the feeling of regret. People hardly remember their childhood, teen/adulthood is where parents are really needed.

you make some very good points. I do think about not being with her as she grows up and that fills me with sadness. I just don't know how to continue on feeling as badly as I do.

 

[Finallyhere]

you make some very good points. I do think about not being with her as she grows up and that fills me with sadness. I just don't know how to continue on feeling as badly as I do.

Well you didn't lose her completely. At least you still get contact. She doesn't really know your mistakes.

 

[longingforrelease]

Well you didn't lose her completely. At least you still get contact. She doesn't really know your mistakes.

you're right about that. My ex-wife, as angry or disillusioned with me as he is, I can say that she's never ever tried to use my terrible behavior to poison our daughter's feelings about me. She's kept her eyes on the prize and focused on what's best for our daughter and that includes her conviction that our daughter needs both parents in her life. So I am so grateful that my daughter doesn't know much about what happened. She does know that I was arrested for drug possession, which I'm sure humiliated her, but she's never let on and never seems to have wavered in her affection for me. I'm grateful for that.

 

[Merseymike]

I don't think suicide is selfish at all.