Discussion Thoughts on leaving a note and it’s impact

[asgoodasdead]

(first post so bare with me) Personally, I would so it would give some closure to whoever reads it. Also maybe for myself as wiriting is always nice. I ask this because I've been think it leaving a note could potentially make it worse for someone. A few years ago, my friend's friend CTB and left a small note for her. Honestly based on her reaction, it probably caused her more pain.

I've also heard someone say that they would rather not have a note left as it would cause a lot of "what if.." Lmk what you guys think.

 

[Crow_88]

I've always thought a note is a nice thing to do. At least they can have some questions answered as the people left behind. Of course, that really depends on the contents.

 

[sanctionedusage]

i've always thought it was a cringey thing to do. more specific to me, it feels presumptuous and egotistical to write something that assumes people would care about my death. even the officials who'd find me would remember the grosser details like blood pooling in my extremities and my tongue bulging out before my name or my face. like who do i think i am lmao

 

[maylurker]

i dont know if i had someone who cares for me i'd leave a note to explain myself to ease my own possible guilt and to comfort them

 

[broken serenity]

I'd leave something clarifying it wasn't a murder, but I doubt it matters. There should be plenty of evidence.

 

[inkmage333]

I've mostly written notes for two reasons: to provide closure/reasons, and to curse people with my last words.

In the case I want to minimize pain for people, I'd like to explain all the reasons I did what I did and answer some questions. There's a thread on here that goes into it much better than I can, and I do recommend reading it.

In the event I want to actually cause pain for people I directly blame them in the letter. "This is your fault, you have blood on your hands" etc. (don't worry, they deserved it) so I think writing a letter would help with that too.

 

[Riven]

i personally think its a good way to provide some potential answers to people, make sure they know they were important to me, thank them for everything, etc.

 

[srilankanbeyotch]

I will surely leave a note and I'd probably say I have terminal illness so they can take my passing not as hard. Thankfully, cancer runs in our family so I have an alibi for it as oppose to just saying Im done with my life.

 

[justanotherbody]

I already have notes hand-written out, sealed in addressed and stamped envelopes, that I plan to mail out on the day I decide to go. Nine letters, one for my parents, two for my kids, one for their mother, then five for friends. All lovely, positive messages. Except the one for my children's mother, which is more straight-forward and unfeeling.

 

[sadidiot0328]

I have a couple old drafts from when I was in highschool, pretty sure I wrote one in 6th grade but I wouldn't know where it is, if not already gone. It was mostly explaining why I did it, apologizing to people Im close with, and what to do with my belongings and how to access my devices for any more information.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I haven't had anyone irl suicide but, there have been lots of natural deaths in my family. I have always been grateful when people left me notes. It showed they cared and loved me.

Because, they don't have to just be about us. It gives us the final chance to show gratitude to the people in our lives who made a positive difference. I kind of think that's important- seeing as a suicide could I imagine- easily look like we were rejecting them.

I also think we can have a stab at trying to reassure them there was nothing more they could have done to support us- if that's appropriate of course. I suppose I see it as a goodbye, thank you, don't feel guilty and a- I wish you all the very best in your lives.

Plus, from a legal standpoint- I think it helps the police investigation if there is a note. I suspect I will make a few in fact. A hand written one for 'evidence'. This was a suicide with no one else involved. I'm likely to send maybe 3 notes to my solicitor attached to a delayed email. For family, friends and work colleagues. I've heard the police don't always pass on notes so- that should ensure they hear something.

I can recall one or two people here who have experienced a suicide in the family with no note left and, it seemed to leave them very bewildered. Maybe a note can't answer all the questions but, it can answer a few at least, I imagine.

 

[jazzcat621]

I've always wanted my death to at least do something good and I feel leaving a note encouraging people to better help those with mental illness could at least save someone else the pain ive suffered through.

 

[slapntickle]

I don't know if (in this day and age) a video message would be better. A lot can get lost in terms of tone of voice etc with a letter, and a video let's you speak with intonation, as well as the viewers being able to see your eyes etc when you speak. It might be something that helps them in later years.

As to content, I think it's important (for loved ones) that you explain that your love for them isn't diminished by you not being there, and that they are not in any way guilty for what you did, rather than your own death is the result of a series of your own actions.

 

[kuroshimi]

I think leaving a note is a good thing since it can give answers to potential questions on why did I do that, saying thanks to everyone etc.