Thoughts during my attempt earlier:

[Smelly_ballz]

I wrote them down each time I took a break:

6:14pm
Hands are cold
6:23
It doesn't feel right anymore. I think I'll still try.
6:28
Hanging is failing. Can't get it to make me pass out. Trying cutting
6:34
Minor bleeding. Practice cuts. I'm scared for [name]. Should I go thru? I'll wait for a bit.
6:41
Bleeding. Dripping. Crying. I feel bad for [name]. I might tell them.
6:53
Failed hanging again. I'm doomed. My lips went numb. So tight I could barely breathe. My face was red and full. Maybe even purple. Idk I don't have a mirror, just my phone.
7:03
Tried again. I can't get a good angle. Throat hurts. My eyes are bloodshot and face still red. [lover] texted me so I'll wait for another time. I still feel the noose around my neck.
[end]

I wasn't able to get at an angle where my arteries were being pressed enough. I put as much pressure into as I could to no avail. The knife I used wasn't sharp enough. My SI was also worse than expected. I don't think I was ready. It wasn't impulsive, just a bad attempt. I will try again at some point later. Probably next week. My throat and neck hurts (bruised?) and I am nauseous now. I think giving myself sometime to be better prepared for what I'm doing will be good. It just wasn't time yet I guess. I wish I could just leave.
Idek if I was trying to die or just self harm. I want to die, but I honestly don't know how serious I was in the moment. I feel weak and pathetic.

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

I mights not be an expert but these were my finding after several failed attempts

6:28
Hanging is failing. Can't get it to make me pass out.

For partial practice passing out by putting the ligature 2 finger widths below the adams until you find your sweet spot(I just used a scarf)

For full suspension
It’s the same as above but the ligature is above the adams apple

6:53
Failed hanging again. I'm doomed. My lips went numb. So tight I could barely breathe. My face was red and full. Maybe even purple. Idk I don't have a mirror, just my phone.

That means you were compressing the jugular veins ...meaning you were trapping blood in your head

You are supposed to compress the carotid which means cutting off blood supply to your head

To overcome SI for suspension
I suggest not to be sober, I experimented with sleeping pills cause that’s what I had at the time but failed cause my partial suspension technique was off

Or some suggest getting used to the high by practicing a lot so the SI will ease

Don’t be too hard on yourself .....

 

[Some place nice]

Im sorry. My attempt at cutting didn't work either. Its just a hard method. I hope hanging works next time. Just keep practicing.